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How Does One Handle Anger In Pre-teenagers?
Question: How does one handle anger in pre-teens? Home life is stable and structured. Parents are attentive. Child is jealous of younger sibling. Child is in school for gifted and handles the work easily, but skips homework. Teachers say he "steamrolls" other students to take charge if group project is assigned,but does outstanding projects on his own. Because of his temper,other children avoid him. Has had success in age-related sport and theater in the community, but anger events have caused his removal from recent programs.
Brief Answer:
Can develop into ODD if unattended
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
I have read your grandchilds history. Yes he does have anger management issues. Based on your description, as he is still excellent in his projects at school, he has still not progressed to ODD. But might do so if anger issues are not attended to.
There are three ways to deal with anger
1. Denial
2. Expression
3. Forgiveness.
Teach your grandchild about the benefits of forgiveness and proper expression of anger. Over expression of anger or misdirected anger can be harmful. If he is God fearing, telling him God forgives everyone with anger might help.
If anger is over expressed or misdirected do punish him. Punishment includes making him run, stopping his favorite shows, foods, etc.
There are few reasons why anger develops at this age
1. Selfishness by the child because of permissive parenting. Parents nowadays ask child's permission for anything even like which movie,etc. Never do so, never be a dictator too. Some rules have to be ordered and child has to follow them at school and at home. Failure to obey the rules should be attended then and there with appropriate punishment. Many parents don't do this, and child becomes selfish and adamant as they grow.
2. Anger in parents
This seems to be OK in your grandchilds case.
3. Sibling rivalry
Again the jealousy towards younger sibling especially if parents are too permissive, may create anger and frustration. Try not differentiating siblings with respect to love care, Food, toys, gadgets. Give them equally.
Diversion techniques like yoga, meditation, swimming, cycling, etc can help him vent his anger harmlessly.
Praise but never over praise, punish if he does break the rules. I hope these tips will help.
Wishing him good health
Regards
Dr Arun
Can develop into ODD if unattended
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
I have read your grandchilds history. Yes he does have anger management issues. Based on your description, as he is still excellent in his projects at school, he has still not progressed to ODD. But might do so if anger issues are not attended to.
There are three ways to deal with anger
1. Denial
2. Expression
3. Forgiveness.
Teach your grandchild about the benefits of forgiveness and proper expression of anger. Over expression of anger or misdirected anger can be harmful. If he is God fearing, telling him God forgives everyone with anger might help.
If anger is over expressed or misdirected do punish him. Punishment includes making him run, stopping his favorite shows, foods, etc.
There are few reasons why anger develops at this age
1. Selfishness by the child because of permissive parenting. Parents nowadays ask child's permission for anything even like which movie,etc. Never do so, never be a dictator too. Some rules have to be ordered and child has to follow them at school and at home. Failure to obey the rules should be attended then and there with appropriate punishment. Many parents don't do this, and child becomes selfish and adamant as they grow.
2. Anger in parents
This seems to be OK in your grandchilds case.
3. Sibling rivalry
Again the jealousy towards younger sibling especially if parents are too permissive, may create anger and frustration. Try not differentiating siblings with respect to love care, Food, toys, gadgets. Give them equally.
Diversion techniques like yoga, meditation, swimming, cycling, etc can help him vent his anger harmlessly.
Praise but never over praise, punish if he does break the rules. I hope these tips will help.
Wishing him good health
Regards
Dr Arun
Note: For further queries related to your child health, Talk to a Pediatrician. Click here to Book a Consultation.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Remy Koshy
Answered by
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