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Hi, This Is My First Time I Have Been Come
Question: Hi, This is my first time i have been come up for counselling. Im the only son and i have been married year ago. My mom is super possessive on me and unable to manage it. Since its affecting me a lot and her mental condition is going worse day by day. By seeing her Im feeling bad and its even impacting my career as well. So i have no option left over so i trying my luck here. This counselling should help my mother primarily because as i said above her mental condition started to become worse. Note im giving additional details of my mother
Brief Answer:
Obsessive love disorder
Detailed Answer:
Hello and welcome to Ask A Doctor service.
I have read your query and here is my advice.
I have personally known people with similar mental health problems, so I can advice you from my experience with them.
She seems to be having obsessive love disorder. Here love could mean attachment to any family member, friend or spouse or any acquaintance.
They may be having other mental health problems alongwith especially unreasonable fears, suicidal ideation, visions, delusions, hallucinations, etc.
What works most in these cases is to keep them super-busy with some work.
Second thing that can work is to keep their thoughts occupied with another loved one. However the other person maynot like it, so divert their attention towards God. This can become possible with yoga and meditation classes like Art of Living.
Behavioral therapy with a counsellor or psychologist can work.
Your own health is of utmost importance. So have some free (separate) time for yourself everyday in which you can do some productive or creative work or just relax. She may use words like suicide etc or even hurt herself to make sure you stay with her. Please realize that it is ok to NOT agree with her demands.
You can ask specific questions and I can answer as per my experience.
Hope this helps. Let me know if I can assist you further.
Dr Vaishalee
Obsessive love disorder
Detailed Answer:
Hello and welcome to Ask A Doctor service.
I have read your query and here is my advice.
I have personally known people with similar mental health problems, so I can advice you from my experience with them.
She seems to be having obsessive love disorder. Here love could mean attachment to any family member, friend or spouse or any acquaintance.
They may be having other mental health problems alongwith especially unreasonable fears, suicidal ideation, visions, delusions, hallucinations, etc.
What works most in these cases is to keep them super-busy with some work.
Second thing that can work is to keep their thoughts occupied with another loved one. However the other person maynot like it, so divert their attention towards God. This can become possible with yoga and meditation classes like Art of Living.
Behavioral therapy with a counsellor or psychologist can work.
Your own health is of utmost importance. So have some free (separate) time for yourself everyday in which you can do some productive or creative work or just relax. She may use words like suicide etc or even hurt herself to make sure you stay with her. Please realize that it is ok to NOT agree with her demands.
You can ask specific questions and I can answer as per my experience.
Hope this helps. Let me know if I can assist you further.
Dr Vaishalee
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Vaishalee Punj
What if any uncertainty happens to her because of me? Life long that regret would be there for me.
Brief Answer:
Please reassure her
Detailed Answer:
Hi again
Being a son it is your responsibility to support her financially and in other ways throughout life. If you are fulfilling your responsibility without getting burdened or too attached, then you have nailed it. You will not feel the regret later.
If she is having unrealistic demands then you can simply say no and move on with your work. Hearing a no can result in argument, arguments can escalate to violence. But you need to keep calm during such episodes and deal with these episodes like a cool therapist.
One of my patients is overcoming obsessions with regular meditation programs.
Another one is overcoming obsessions with social service and volunteering.
For yourself, stress management and time management is required.
Regards
Dr Vaishalee
Please reassure her
Detailed Answer:
Hi again
Being a son it is your responsibility to support her financially and in other ways throughout life. If you are fulfilling your responsibility without getting burdened or too attached, then you have nailed it. You will not feel the regret later.
If she is having unrealistic demands then you can simply say no and move on with your work. Hearing a no can result in argument, arguments can escalate to violence. But you need to keep calm during such episodes and deal with these episodes like a cool therapist.
One of my patients is overcoming obsessions with regular meditation programs.
Another one is overcoming obsessions with social service and volunteering.
For yourself, stress management and time management is required.
Regards
Dr Vaishalee
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Answered by
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