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Getting sexual desire all the time. How to overcome this?

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HIV AIDS Specialist
Practicing since : 1974
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sub: seeking advise to overcome sexual desires that deep rooted in my mind.
dear counselor, i thought to seek help to overcome this deep rooted desire in me.
i don't want to start by saying as a teenager i am attracted towards sex, it get's so much deep into me. Real problem is i am in middle of it on a scale of 1 to 10, i am neither a maniac for it nor nil. It's been an obstacle from my 11th standard the way it get into me is like

firstly, i had freedom to do and behave as i like, as i was trusted by my family members. I was charming and attractive but not expressive at my 10+2, everything i kept to myself because of this i was dominated by opp. gender attraction. I lost valuable time in my life, thrown my self into abyss of my knowledge.

I was upset, thought i will do my best in studies at my UG, things were good for a few months but there was still trace of lust in my mind which kept piling up so much that i even not cared to study before exams, i was over confident. however i was not addicted to any other bad habits. I used be at home or to college may be because i hadn't got a chance to indulge in sex as i was not so flirty. Meanwhile i am happen to XXXXXXX this holy women in my life whom i thought to marry and be a humble gentleman. When she was in my life, i never even thought of winking at another girl all my thoughts were into making my life with my gf. She care for me like sister, talks to me like my soul but happen to leave before 2 years. When she was there i broke the shackles of lust, i understood difference b/w love and lust. OK, I was good even then i am a graduate now come up with few jobs in B.P.O's i might have got few IT jobs if i had tried but as i was hoping to continue my studies i haven't shown interest towards them, moreover i am lazy and broke.

These days i am not even able to utilize 5% of the day time. i am at verge of valuable time to be precise 15 days. If i can do best i can see me in a better position for this work. Even now i am writing this after getting bored with a sexual web site. . Shame to say so, but it's my hope to overcome them and be a honest man to myself and my carrier. I was attesting alternative e-mail id, hope you can understand. but i check it regularly.

Sorry i just got back as i see i have to pay for your response. let me make it more clearly about my ambitions. There are certain aspects i observed in my daily life, i LIE, showoff to colleges but still i never cheated anyone nor cheated non. moreover if i have work in my hand that i can do i give it my best like few students i thought previous 3 months i gave my best and found myself respect in it. But that's not where i want to end i want to be the BEST day by day and finally establish educational organisations in my state to help all needy children in their education.
Just now, mom asking me to sleep for that i get angry and shout which is becoming usual in my daily life with my family members i am avoiding people and my carrier because of these things. If i looks back i loved a women more than myself and career, but thank god she thought me few good things and i got to know myself what i must seek from my life partner.

Career goals:
As for now i want to pursue my masters degree in USA or any reputed university to be a reputed engineer in Electronics and communications profession. I have an intense desire or may be eventual interest to be a profound engineer. I hereby humbly request you to help in being a better a youth.I will be glad if you can get me in touch with a ECE professional for carrier guidance or any other professional you prefer for me to help in both my carrier and personal life.

Seeking path as a fellow human.
Posted Fri, 3 May 2013 in Mental Health
Answered by Dr. S. Murugan 6 hours later

Thanks for posting your query.

I went through elaborated presentation. I found nothing abnormal. At the age of early twenties what you have described is normal for most of the men, if not all. In olden days the marriage was arranged in early ages, say between 16-18 days to overcome such feelings. But unfortunately or fortunately many people are getting married in very late ages ,majority after 32 years.

Sexual thirst at your age is quite normal, only when it is not so, then we have to worry.
Don't worry about the same and confuse yourself. If you relax you can concentrate in your daily routine and studies.

Safest way and a not harmful way is to engage yourself in masturbation. There is nothing wrong in that. Nearly 95% men at teenage and in early twenties are engaging themselves to release their tension due to mounting sex feelings. All of them are doing well in their career and future life. Masturbation is so safe, not harmful for anybody, not to be feared for STD/AIDS. You can even do it daily. It will not do harm to your health. You can concentrate in your studies and do well in your career.

Next option get married as soon as possible It also will solve your problems. Don't go for medicines.

They will pull you down in your performance both in studies and also in your future life.

Consult a sexologist. They will guide you better.

Get well soon.
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