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Child hyperactive and arrogant. Why does she get violent with fellow kids? What can I do about it?

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General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2009
Answered : 121 Questions
My child is going to be 4 years old in July. She is very very active (almost hyperactive) and she does not listen to us and sometimes refuses to listen to us. She want to do whatever she want to do. She mixes with other kids very well but while playing with other kids she tend to hit them, push them, bite them and do some other mischievous things like throw sand at them while playing in the garden etc.
One thing that I have observed is when she gets attention she tends to do all this things. My wife says when she is alone at home, she behaves completely normal but stills makes my wife's life difficult by doing some or other activity and does not allow my wife to do anything.
At times I have seen even four person at home can not control her. I try to get her do various activity at home like playing with her(like hide and seek etc), dancing etc but every time she wants to do something new. Once she is accustomed to any activity she looses her interest and does not pay any attention to it.
Can you please suggest something for her so that she start behaving like a normal child ? In particular we are very worried about how she behaves with other kids, like hitting, pushing, biting etc. Other kids in our neighborhood don't want to play with my kid because of her behavior.
Posted Sun, 1 Jul 2012 in Parenting
Answered by Dr. Chandana Krishna 4 hours later
Thank you for writing in,
This is one of the common problem in school-going children.
All young children will be naughty, defiant and impulsive from time to time, which is perfectly normal.
But it becomes a problem when they are causing harm to others.
You can follow some simple steps at home to limit it:
-Teach how to behave in front of others,
-encourage to help other children to build good interpersonal relationship,
-role playing,
-Talk to the child that this is not how it's done. You will be appreciated only if you are showing a good behavior.
-Discourage the negative activities.
-Negative punishment: child will be made deprived of his/her amenities of interest if he/she shows bad behavior,
-Coming to an agreement with the child on his/her important tasks and responsibilities,
-The child should be made to understand that if he/she is showing positive behavior, he/she will be getting all the rewards. If not he won't get any rewards.
-Avoid punishments because it causes rebellious attitude towards one who punishes.
-If parents, siblings, neighbors, peers all try it combined, its very effective in improving the behavior of the child.
Its your responsibility to change this behavior.
I have tried my best to give the best possible answer.
If you have any doubt, I'll be happy to help you.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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