Hi. I have been un well on and off for fifteen years. I have had blackouts in my car, times of extreme disorientation and confusion have had shock like seizures and seizures that have left me in able to move and in able even to swallow my own saliva. Eventually passing out completely. E first time I blacked out in my recall I was a child of around ten or eleven I was walking home on dusk one day. When I came to I got up and carried on walking home. I used to spend many days in tears because I was always biting my tongue it shocked me every time and I never got used to that. Through my late teens and early twenty s I suffered from chronic pain in lower right side torso and often presented in agony at outpatients un able to walk without hunching over and with restriction to breathing as normal breathes increased the pain greatly. During school I suffered running was always told to run the stitch out but even as child I knew this was not stitch as pain was terrible. I remember being told I had pleurisy in primary early high school. And around perhaps a kidney issue that went no where regards treatment. Odd things I have experienced are cold shoulder lots of cold sores from young to mid thirty s. infection on face mid twenty s painful infected long lasting rise before better. One morning around twenty six years I was temporarily paralised in legs confused disorientated tearful weary. It frightened me a lot. Around this time I was having dizzy spells and light headed ness when hanging washing and although I had nothing my doctor at the time could see I reported feeling that I felt like I had vaginal growths and asked for a Pap smear which was taken via cotton bud and came back without detecting abnormality. I am now 47 have been diagnosed with bi polar have had four episodes of psychosis requiring hospitalization over last fifteen years currently no mess and no issues I fear most that my physical issues and mental ones are not one and same and yet are creating one from the other and vice versa although I do accept that over time I have developed bi polar . i can say that i know the condition well now and how to manage it where once I did not. I have had shocking shock like pain from top of head to bottom of spine on occasion it leaves me drained and chaotic for days and weeks and this seems to be a normal thing that happens in my life now. that the repercussions are so long lasting. confusion unwellness drained. Debilitating. I gets ores on my arms and legs and some times but not as often on my face that are like infected mosquito bites that just won't heal until they are good and ready and this never lasts long before they are back.neck pain at the bottom of the skull and top of spine has been on going since mid twentys and has restricted movement many times making me full body turn to see and hear.i have suffered attacks of lower back pain in stretches of weeks and months at a time this was much worse during times of taking medications for bi polar episodes . Sodium valproate seroquel zyprexa and epilem are those I have had in past . They helped the psychosis and forced choice to achieve better life balance. physically I felt worse by each moment on those drugs though. Such bad back and kidney pain that moving breathing was impossible. Sleep was hard to get life stopped for months on end. Fluttering eye balls like flickering blinds ear pain both sides where I have had to put both palms under my ear to help lift head up from pillow to alleviate the pain before being able to functionally move. Weakness in right arm when using hand like now. Pain radiates to both shoulder blades and neck. Is noticeably a heavy aching feeling. I have in past had extreme head pain and been vision impaired to point that I was practicing things with eyes closed in preparation for if total blindness struck. I often woul be driving or sitting and the go blurry have spots or dots and then just not be able to see. Light would bother my eyes they could not see they stung and were watery all the time. I have had many pregnancies terminated making plans while well and just not being able to manage to fruitition the sickness es came so hard so fast . I felt that this would bring joy new focus and re ground or balance so for ten years persisted and eventually had a daughter now ten . Making three children the older two now thirty and twenty seven. I had itch and sores that would not heal mood swings uncontrollable and my left shoulder muscles lapsed and I could not raise my arm up beyond shoulder during that pregnancy. I have had some up down red white blood cell oddities in blood tests vitamin d deficient a renal fibromuscular right side block