About 2.5 years ago i went through a lot of very difficult changes. my husband and i split up and he filed for divorce in 6 days no reconciliation- no adultry or anything like that. we were together 5 years he lost his business and started to drink. i lost my husband, i lost our home to him and another small home i lost to foreclosure. I changed jobs within the same system i worked for ( which was a stress and a blessing), I suffered with severe arthritic type pain and memory issues for 6 months then 7 months of urticaria, severe hives / welts all day everyday for 7 months then it finally went slowly away, with angio edema. Took several medications including 2 antidepressants and Prednisone. I gained 30 lbs, never have been fat. I am off meds as of 10 months ago. They never figured it out and i had poor coping skills the whole time i was so physically agitated and emotionally, mentally spent . I quit smoking 5 months ago. I find myself crying almost everyday, some days i cry so hard and have such feelings of dispair and loss. I have acquaintances and i am involved in a counseling type class, recovery for hurts and hangups, i go to church saturday and sunday, otherwise i have no friends and my brothers are all alcoholics that hate me because I dont drink and my father left me as the youngest and only girl over my parents estate. My father passed away 7 years ago and my mom 84 is alive, I have a good relationship with her but she lives out of state. I have a solid job, but financially strapped, both of my cars are completely broke down and will cost a lot to fix, I borrow a friends vehicle. I feel so overwhelmed and scared I feel emotionally out of control i cry everyday. I wake up anxious, i feel loney and hopeless, I am scared, Some days i dont want to leave my room. I make myself o places. I have a 26 year old son who loves me and is very good to me he is my only friend, My daughter is not very nice, I have fears of loss, abandonment , anxiety, i cry, i feel all alone, today i didn t go to work today, that happens once in a while like once a month, I usually just fall apart and go to work anyway and maintain. Sometimes i cry relly hard when I get in the car on my way home, I dont want to go home cause i am afraid to feel so all alone..I need relief from my grief, fear, and sadness. I was always able to get through things in my life before and i feel like this is beating me , not me beating it. I am 52 and menopausal to boot. i feel out of control inside and want to feel reasonably normal again , im scared