Hello. I am a 14-year old girl in tenth grade. I thought I could talk to someone other than my parents about my issue. It has been going on for a prolonged period of time, and has been impacting my school and personal life ever since. I feel like I cannot pay attention as well as others. Whenever I am in class, my mind always gets distracted from the teacher who is speaking. Therefore, I have trouble following their instructions or doing their assigned tasks. This lack of attention also occurs when someone is having a conversation with me. For example, they might be telling me about one of their personal experiences, and I wouldn t be able to listen to the whole thing; something always distracts me. Whenever I attempt to read something, usually school-related, my mind once again wanders to something else and I either have to reread the material, or I stop reading. I am also a huge procrastinator and put off most of my school and home assignments until the last minute. I noticed that shows up in my schoolwork, as well as the relationships with my parents. What contradicts this is the fact that I get very disappointed if I receive low grades, which is exactly what is happening to me right now because of my attention issue. Although my parents and friends may not believe it, I am motivated to learn and I would really like to attend a prestigious college. I have always made an attempt to do my work diligently, but I never complete it. I don t know what the driving force of my lack of responsibility and attention is, but I know that it needs to be resolved if I want to accomplish something in my life. This issue is not only eating into my academics, but my personal life as well. My parents and I are of Indian descent, giving the impression that they have high expectations of me, want me to succeed and make a living in the future. This is definitely true with my parents. However, they have unsuccessfully been trying to get me to finish my tasks so many times, that they have given up. They scold me and tell me that I m not fit for any of the Advanced Placement and honors classes I m taking because I m not smart enough and I don t have the mental capacity. In response, I say very cruel, harsh words to them that deteriorates our relationship even further. It has come to the point where my parents are willing to leave the household without me, and don t experience any emotion when I tell them that I want to run away from home. They have even lowered their expectations of me. My faulty relationships, low academic performance and attention struggles are what is causing another issue of severe anxiety and sorrow for me. I really want it to be resolved before I actually do run away from home or even commit suicide if it gets worse. I don t know why I m experiencing this, or what I did to deserve this in my life. I have never been a very kind person, and some of my elementary and middle school peers might even believe that I m weird and strange. I have made mistakes, even when I was younger. I have been deliberately rude to people, which started my bad reputation with others. I have tried to mend those situations, but maybe it isn t good enough for people or even God. I have never had a lot of friends or boyfriends. Maybe this is God s way of punishing me for my actions. Why did he have to choose me, instead of any other person in my life? If I just ran away or left this world, would it be better for God as well as these other people? I don t want to keep thinking like this. I just want to talk to someone, other than these people in my life. Thank you for giving the time to assist me in this situation.