Dear Patient, Thank you very much for your question. First of all I want to tell you that masturbation is an innocent, absolutely normal human sexual response. According latest research men who have often practiced masturbation are less prone to prostate cancer in later ages. Therefore, Do not worry about masturbation. It does not have side effects. It is absolutely normal and harmless. However, the fear or guilt you have towards masturbation has resulted to create your anxiety. I believe those non specific above mentioned symptoms are also related to anxiety. when you have anxiety and do not know a way to solve your problems it coverts into depression. Your suicidal thoughts are part of your depression. Dear reader, you have to understand for what you are worrying is meaningless. Almost all men have practiced masturbation in their lives. Your problem is you just overlook at your problem. Also all your above mentioned symptoms are due to your anxiety,therefore,treating your symptoms mean in other words treating your build up anxiety. Also men when they are sexually aroused fluids from prostate and cowper s glands start leaking through the urethra. This is what you have seen as semen and during sexual excitement leaking of these fluids is again normal. You do not have to suicide. You are a healthy young man. My advice is you have to see a psychiatrist immediately. He is the right person to help you. Believe me you life will be good and happy. Stop worrying and consult a psychiatrist soon. Good luck! Dr. Dinesh Nuwan Weerasinghe. MD