i am starting a new relationship after 18 months being single. i am very much attracted to him, but i am finding it very hard to get an erection and when i go get it i am finding it hard to keep it. why is this happening. i am 28, ex smoker and healthy enough I am starting a new relationship after 18 months being single. I am very much attracted to him, but i am finding it very hard to get an erection and when i get it i am finding it hard to keep it. I am 28, ex smoker, healthy enough and i am on no medication. Why is this happening?