ok this is confusing or it is to me, so sorry. and i really appreciate your help big time cause this is ruining my life. my name is josh this is my history im 30 year male, 5/7 tall, 195 pounds. i am a recovering alcholic. hadn't had any alcohol since sept. 2008. stopped smoking dec. of 2008. oct. 2003 i shot myself in the chest and almost died. the bullet went all the way through puncturing my left lung which collapsed and then i developed ards. i was in icu for 2 weeks they put in chest tubes. after icu i started taking a anti-depressant lexapro. continued with the medication lexapro after getting out of the hospital which then i quit and started drinking beer again(very stupid). then i started having like panic or anxiety attacks not sure. then i went back to physchiatrist and gave me proxac and zyprexa. i took these for two months while drinking also. got off them and continued drinking. after a while i started getting this bad middle left chest pain the day after i drank alot. this got worse and worse and then i started to have panic/anxiety attacks also along with the pain(i guess im not really sure whats going on just its a definate that this is happening each time after i drink on the following day, sometimes even as quickly as i wake up and last till i go to bed that night). well ive quit jobs because of this idk its terrible. like i said originally this was mostly associated with drinking alcohol. plus i started taking a anti-anxiety medication called ativan been taking it for almost 5 years now. during that 5 years also i took other medications like for pain and depression. im addicted to the ativan. take it everyday. did alot of drinking while taking it too. i know very stupid. well now im still having these horrible panic anxiety attacks starting to affect my everyday life about to eat me alive. been going to church classes started having them have to leave, just had to leave work because of this. one thing im not sure not all the time but alot times i have these episodes of panic or anxiety attacks or whatever they are is sometimes after i eat especially if i get really full. like i said not all the time sometimes i have these episodes out of the blue but alot times its after i eat something. get this like dull pain in my left side makes me feel like im suffucating, feel like im having a heart attack, feel like im struggling to breath, sometimes when get really bad my whole left side starts to like vibrate shake, ive even thrown up before from it once and it was like coffee grains is what my vomit look like, this was after a night of drinking too. ive noticed sometimes if i eat something like bad food too like eat out food coke ice cream sometimes im not sure but that may trigger this pain in my chest which then triggers my panic im assuming. so maybe i should just try not eating and see if it goes away. like i said when this all started happening but when it was definately not as bad now. it was about a year after i shot myself. i went and got exrays and then a catscan after doctor noticed something wrong with my lung. then i went to a lung specialist and he didnt' find anything. and then actually in 2008 in oct i went to another lung specialist when it was happening bad again and he didn't find anything. i mean i just don't know what to do, its backing me up in a corner in my life, giving me bad impulses too. i don't know if its mental or a physical problem, im thinking maybe its both something is causes this extreme physical distress and then its triggering my panic or anxiety attacks. i need all the help i can please im desperate, already had to give up one job because of this and now i just had to leave work in a huryy which might jeoperdize this one or especailly if it happens anymore idk what to do please help if you can please, thanks, God bless.