Hallow dear, I have understood your problems. They are two different problems. First is your refusal to get raspa done. You should not have refused. The very fact you were advised raspa means you had incomplete abortion. Because of some pieces left inside the uterine cavity, you were bleeding for a prolonged period. By now it must have got infected also. You may have to undergo a treatment with antibiotics and if advised, raspa. Ultrasonography will make the picture clear. The second problem is about your pain during intercourse. You have very smartly depicted the site of pain. There are two glands, one on each side in the labia. When they get infected, known as Bartholinitis, they become tender. Such infection is usually due to gonorrhoea or chlamydia like sexually transmitted infections. Mostly you have Bartholinitis causing pain during intercourse. You have to take some steps: 1. Get confirmed about the type of infection and accordingly have a course of antibiotics. Most of the times, this infection gets converted into abscess and needs surgical opening. 2. If it is sexually transmitted infection, please get your partner also medically examined. Both of you may have to undergo the treatment in that case. 3. Till your infection is not cured, please observe sexual abstinence. If there is no infection and as you feel, you are not lubricated properly in the vagina, you may use lubricants. Please do not use oil based lubricants like Vaseline or creams. They are harmful to the internal genital organs. Use water based lubricants. Vaginal jellies available in the market are good lubricants. I hope this will solve your problems.