Your wife might have a rigid hymen or vaginismus
. This can also be due to anxiety. Proper relaxation exercise is important. Never hurry.
There are certain things you can try:
1. Breathing exercise
and yoga should be practiced. Breath in and out while penetration.
with a sexologist
will help.First insert a lubricated finger of the wife in top vagina and continue for a week. Then repeat it with 2 lubricated fingers of wife. When she is comfortable repeat it with your husband's finger, first with 1 finger and repeat with 2 fingers. Each process should take at least 5 days gap.
3. When she is comfortable, after foreplay and apply lubricant and intercourse can be tried.. During the process, proper relaxation is required.
4. Avoid stress. Don't be in a hurry.
The lubricants would be K-Y jelly
, Vagisil Intimate Moisturizer, or Replens Vaginal Mosturizer or plain vaseline jelly.
If unsuccessful get a vaginal examination with your doctor to rule out any infection or problems.
Hope I have answered your query. Feel free to ask any doubt.
Dr. Ivan R. Rommstein, General Surgeon