I am 41 year old female diagnosed with cervical disc degeneration disease through X-ray this past week. This comes following 14+ years of literally banging head up down side to side against walls and with hands. I have had several falls and numbness and tingling with floaters and mild dizziness as of late. I have not banged head in 6 years. I am working full time and mood is/ was good until reality that my self harm could be having serious neurological consequences years later.mri of neck and brain have been ordered. Headache is worse with ibuprofen but tenderness and crunching exist at all neck posistions. Am I at risk for stroke, aneurysm, tumor, rare problems? I love life now but am totally afraid something serious is going on neurologically. I see neurologist for first brain scan in five years but am ashamed and feel I don t deserve treatment for any problems happening now because of self harm in 20 s to mid 30 s. Thoughts? Can t respond to my email as don t have internet service but would appreciate some encouragement. Please note I believe in the God of the Bible and Hebrew Scriptures. Dealing with the shame and guilt of my prior self abuse is difficult. As I said I love life now but am afraid of dying young because I fear I haven t lived. I had wanted med school and research myself years ago and gave up following religious dispute with family. Self harm was the biggest mess up of my life. Can t undo it or the damage... Scared of dying even though I am someone who must believe the MERE HOPE of heaven is greater than any threat of hell because of my sin of self abuse. Off side question.... Traction for neck likely needed? Could I be at imminent risk for neurological injury. I can t pay tonight as used debit card to pay for ice cream when visiting a young man with Down s facing surgery I will try back later. So sorry for inconvenience. Honestly, I thought this was a type in question no fee. I don t watch news, read paper, have Facebook, or anything. Please find way to contact me if you know it is urgent to do so. I have scan reports and films. I want life but don t believe any doctor should feel even remotely sorry for me as this damage was self inflicted. If I do get rough news, how should I proceed.... I attended MUW in MS hoping to have gone to Hopkins med school. Always wanted to play UNO with Hugh Laurie. I say these things knowing there really may be some serious concerns. I have a tenor in my jaw and mild intermittent clonus in right leg and left arm barely swings when I walk. Headache is mild right now. I have slept on stomach for years because of untreated scoliosis pain. Had an ENT go suck out some if your brain after ear infection once and was diagnosed by scan with ethmoid sinus in 2007 but I never get sinus infections these days. Please find a way to contact me if you believe in God and are up to a discussion on what is the meaning of latent suicide . I feel terrible for my self injury so please understand why posting my concerns is difficult. Neuro scans are Thursday at local hospital with neuro appt on 6th of this month. My meds are good... Lamictal abilify and Prozac being treated for hypothyroidism and nodule.