Hello and welcome to Healthcare Magic. Thanks for your query.
I understand that you are going through a difficult time in your life. You seem to having a lot of negative and self-defeating thoughts and ideas of worthlessness, and these could be indicative of a depression
Though you may be having a lot of adversities in life, it is still important to stay positive and not give up. I would suggest that you talk to a professional - a counsellor or a psychiatrist
, so that you will be able to get help and support for your depressive thoughts. With appropriate help and motivated efforts from your side, you will be able to come out of this phase very soon.
Wish you all the best.
Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar