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Teen very shy and quiet in nature, doesnot want to speak, no speech issue. What could be cause?

Hi, Can you help me please? I am 19 years old. I have been very shy and quiet my whole life. I just can t bring myself to speak when I am out. There is nothing wrong with my speech or anything like that, there is just something in my head that won t let me speak to people. When I am at home, I am a fun, bubbly people just like normal people but once I am out of the house, I become really shy and sort of nervous when I have to talk to people. I even get nervous when I am talking to my friends. I have even lost friends in the past because people think that I am boring because I hardly speak. I have looked for people with a similar problem on the internet and have come across a condition called selective muteness do you think that I have this? I know that loads of people get nervous but this is literally nearly every time people speak to me. My voice goes really quiet, I fidget and laugh nervously even when things aren t funny. It is literally taking over my life and I really need help. What can I do. It is holding me back and ruining my life. My parents get annoyed and just tell me to talk, but I can t. They say that I will just get over it as I get older but I have been like this for nearly 20 years and it s not getting any better. Please help me. Thank you Michelle
Asked On : Sun, 28 Apr 2013
Answers:  2 Views:  27
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Pediatrician 's  Response

Thanks for your query.

Michelle, if this is making you sad and affecting your relationships, maybe you need to do some kind of therapy (with a psychologist, for example). I think that a lot of the problem you have is about the pressure. When people complain about you, and tell you that you need to talk, it only worsens the problem, and that's why I suggest a professional approach.

To be honest with you, I was not very different from you on that age. I was a good student, but had few friends and was extremely shy. It only changed in my university years.

In short words, don't worry too much. Look for professional help if this situation is affecting your education or personal life too much.

Have a nice day, and good luck.
Answered: Mon, 29 Apr 2013
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Pediatrician Dr. Y V Siva Sankara Murty's  Response

Thanks for writing to health care magic.

Do not worry

You are not the only one having such problem.

There are lot of people who have this problem.

I have a simple suggestion. When you are talking do not think about your self. Always think about others. What they want from you. What they feel like to be treated. Get involved with other persons problems. Their thought process, their problems. Think of other person and think how you can help them. The help could only be just hearing their problem or just a consolation or just a greeting.

These thoughts will stop you from thinking about your self all the time.

This will stop you from becoming so self conscious.

Remember one thing. No body is really bothered about the other person. A persons own minor problems are important for every person rather than other persons great tragedies. So do not worry if they are really watching your way of taking or some thing else.

Just get involved in other persons life. Show real interest in him. Ask him basic questions about his day to day activities and problems etc. But show real interest.

This should solve your problem.
If not there is professional help always available.
Continue to ask further queries as required.
Hope this helps.
Take care.
Answered: Wed, 1 May 2013
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