i have been in months of severe depression, I am on exffexor 75 x3 , seroquel 25mg morning, seroquel 50 at night , Lithium 300mg @ night,, synthroid, My identical Twin suffered from Manic Depression triggered by an SSRI antidepressant. She had several manic episodes followed by severe depression & attempted several severe suicide attempts. She lived a horrible and sad life for 10 ten years before succeeding in taking her life. I spend most of those 10 years with her daily. She passed away 10 years ago.
During that time, I was also taking care of my parents both who had several serious health issues. They too have passed away. Neither of them suffered from depression.
As soon as my twin died I became depressed and still feel like I am grieving the loss of my family and the huge effect it has had on my life. My first diagnosis was Vicarious trauma , then chronic depression.
I have had a lot of stressors since my mother died a few years ago. At that time my relationship I was in ended. (i found out he was seeing someone else at the same time I was burying my mother.)
I did not go into depression until a year later when he was forcing the sell of our own house.
At this time I was is a severe car accident. Although I was not severely injured, I had chest injuries from the inpact of the vehicles airbags, my hands would swell and I couldn't open anything, the fridge door, the front door,etc. my x-husband also cut off the utility services and he cancelled my cell phone. He sent his friend who was the Realtor almost every day. That is when I ended up majorly stressed and ended up needing to be hospitalized. Our house was then sold.
I ended up in a new relationship with a man I had know for years and we move in together in
May 2011. I was feeling good so I came off my medication after a couple of months (AUG). I only continued to take my thyroid medication. We went to Seattle for 3 days (Nov 2011) and then unexpectedly we needed to go to Arizona. That was suppose to be a short trip but we ended up there for 2 months mid Jan 2012). I felt good the whole time I was gone and for another couple of months, until mid March 2012) a total of about 7 mos. I had a lot of stress as soon as I got back .
I had a lot of dental work done in a week. Also the estate I thought was finished turned out to be a problem because my sister was refusing to sign the release. So then that came down to her lawyer & my lawyer until it was settled. After that was dragged out, It had brought up all the upsetting information surrounding my twin's death, and my parents. And the lack of her involvement during that time. I went into depression and ended up being hospitalized.
We moved to a different city,and am seeing a new Phsychiatrist. I am still depressed. having problems I have been asked if I am Bipolar? I don't know. I have never had mania or psychosis. This time I have been in severe depression now for 10 mos. During this time I was dealing with my mothers estate, selling her house, and dealing with a lot of stress and pressure from my estranged sister.
Then one day and for no reason, when i woke up I was completely out of my depression.(however for those previous 10 mos. I had overwhelming thoughts of giving up and the night before I felt suicidal, feelings complete hopeless etc. and the inability to feel joy. That good feeling lasted for the entire month of March.2013 and then I slipped back into depression.
The beginning of April 2013, my psychiatrist sent me to Creest (a short stay medical centre for people with mental illness in place of a hospital. AS soon as I walked in the doors, I immediately snapped out of depression. I stayed their for 2 weeks (without havinga a medication change which was going to be to Welbrutrin). After leaving their I continued feeling good for the rest of the month of April, this too lasted only 1 month. The beginning of in May I could actually feel my good mood slipping away (like a wave going through my head LIKE A MIGRAINE WITH NO PAIN). I went to my doctor out of desperation but within 3 days ONCE again I"m in severe depression. My psychiatrist wants to know if I'm Bipolar. I have newer as far as I know been in a state of Mania and never have suffered from psychosis . However, when I do come out of depression I am excited to do all the things I haven't been able to do. I don't over spend, but I do notice that when I'm going into depression, I can no longer bear anything to do with death or dying, therefore I can't watch almost anything on tv. Music becomes annoying. And all I want to do is sleep. I don.t really know anybody where I live, and really my circle of support people have died (being my family). I have children who are busy with their hectic lives and 2 grandchildren, They really don.t understand my illness, I have a fiance who has been my biggest support ,he is very kind and he tries the best to understand. I'm trying my hardest to understand but honestly I don't feel I can get through this, I'm so afraid of being Bipolar and terrified of
all medications especially SSRI which triggered her Bipolar. And I can't figure out my condition. I was first diagnosed with Vicarious trauma, then severe depression, clinical condition. Now becaused I've moved, the new Psychiatrist is asking me if I'm Bipolar. And I stumbled across hypomania which I thought was a lesser amount of mania... but I don't suffer from irritation which seems to be a factor. Also the information was quite negative ,
I am a 62 year old female and hope you can help me by giving me your own opinion,
Thank you sincerely
Linda G Stone YYYY@YYYY