I m 15. Several months ago, after several suicide attempts, self harm, homicidal thoughts, bouts of rapid anger that led me to scream at people over nothing and once or twice to randomly start strangling and animal, stop and not even know why I did what I just did, panic attacks,mood swings and several other things, my parents decided to takd me to the doctor.I was diagnosed as bipolar and the doctor gave me a mood stabilizer.what didn t really make the depression or mood swings go away, it did help to stabalize my mood.next time I saw the pschiatrist, my parents told him that they had noticed not only changes in my mood but also changes in my personality. I was more social and outgoing and talked more as well as changes in humor sense conversation style and several other changes in my personality. They thought the changes were good and they didn t notice any major changes. According to them, the aspects of my personality that had changed were all just symptoms of a disorder and the medicine fixed them, so that their going away was a sign that I was getting better and becoming who I really am. Up until then, I had no idea I had changed. I didn t like the idea that I had changed because it means that I m no longer the real me in my eyes. I m who the medicine has made me and I m now a different person than who I really am. Those aspects of my personality were a part of what made me me and I hate that a medicine changed me without me even knowing. Now to the actual question. I used to hear voices a lot. They told me to kill myself and others as well as other things, but they went away. Recently, they ve come back so now, my doctor has given me Risperidone, a medicine he says will make the voices go away and stay away. I m worried that the antipschotic he gave me will change my personality even more and I ll endd up as another person who is completely different than myself. So, could antipschotics change me? Will they? Also, not the main question, but does the fact that I m bipolar, hear voices, have homicidal thoughts, see troubling images, tried to strangle animals in a random moment and other stuff mean I m crazy?
Asked On : Mon, 14 Oct 2013