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Hi. I am currently under a psychiatrist who is torn between diagnosis for me. Shes not sure whether i have bipolar 2 or borderline personality disorder. I feel its bipolar as i feel i have no control over myself and how i feel and i have no fear of being alone, which i understand is a big factor in borderline. I am currently waiting to see a consultant for a second opinion, who works above my psych, yet i am awaiting an appointment to come through and as he is new ive been told he will have induction things like for the computer system and such and my appt will prob be within a couple of weeks. The thing is, for the last week or so ive been low again. Im currently on meds quetiapine 300mg (150 in morn and at night), 45mg mirtazapine (which was upped from 30mg just yest), and ziploclone 7.5mg every other night. Ive actually for the past four days felt extremely suicidal and i did cut my wrist yesterday morn and went to my gp, but she just upped my mirtazapine from 30mg to 45mg, and told me to stay strong and im doing better than i realise, yet i feel so on the edge it is unreal. I feel like i could go out and drive into the river, ir jump from a high building, i just cant go on. Its not what i think, i cant think straight. I have no money as i spent far beyond my means a few weeks ago when i was on one and hyper, and now im in the red and struggling to get back into the black with all these hefty bank charges. Ive had 3 migranes in the space of 2 weeks, even now im sat here and my head hurts, i feel sort of achey and my eyes are burning like i have a temperature, i dont feel ill as such to say i feel ill with bug or flu, this is just how im feeling every day at the moment. I havethis awful sad feeling, like a heart sinking feeling in my chest and stomach that just wont go away, and the only thing that is keeping me here right now is the fact that im a single mum with 3 young kids. its the weekend so im in, safe. They dont stop me from really wanting to end it all,but means my opportunities for ending my life are limited. I would prob just act on impulse. I really dont know what else to do, does it sound like i have bipolar? i was taken off my serequel a few weeks ago and it sent me on a hyper and i was like 90mph and non-stop. my doc cant do anything more for me and i have to wait for an appt with the psych consultant, but meantime, when im feeling extremely suicidal as i am, what do i do?