Hello Dear. You are most probably having a condition called vaginismus. It is a condition that affects a woman s ability to engage in vaginal penetration, including sexual intercourse or manual penetration. This is the result of an involuntary vaginal muscle spasm, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration painful or impossible. Doctors don t know exactly why vaginismus happens. It s usually linked to anxiety and fear of having sex. But it s unclear which came first, the vaginismus or the anxiety. Other medical problems like infections can also cause painful intercourse. Women with vaginismus can do exercises, in the privacy of their own home, to learn to control and relax the muscles around the vagina. The approach is called progressive desensitization, and the idea is to get comfortable with insertion. First, do Kegel exercises by squeezing the same muscles you use to stop the flow of urine when urinating: Squeeze the muscles. Hold for 2 seconds. Relax the muscles. Do about 20 Kegels at a time. You can do them as many times a day as you want to. After a few days, insert one finger, up to about the first knuckle joint, inside the vagina while doing the exercises. It s a good idea to clip your fingernails first and use a lubricating jelly. Or do the exercises in a bathtub, where water is a natural lubricant. Start with one finger and work your way up to three. You ll feel the vagina s muscles contracting around your finger, and you can always take your finger out if you re not comfortable. Follow this procedure regularly. Slowly you will be able to get comfortable with penetration. Hope i have answered your question. Feel free to contact me if you have any more questions. I ll be glad to help you. All the best With warm regards Dr Sanjay Kini