a family member appears to fit the description of borderline personality disorder. she homeschools her children and her spouse works full time and has to do, as her own parents state, 90% of the work/care of the children and household. She doesn t think anything is wrong with her, but her family--parents, husband, sibling, inlaws do. she refuses to seek help but the situation has escalated severely. she is not known to have physically harmed the children but does berate them to tears with their school work and goes into tirades at the least spoken word (by anyone) which she interprets to challenge her thinking on anything. her spouse wants counseling but fears that something he says to a doctor may cause children protective services enter the matter about which she has threatened retaliation. Her parents were both retired educators and are nearby but she tells him and her children that they will go into foster care because her mother is unfit to care for the children. Her mother (the grandmother) was the nanny who cared for the children before her daughter (the mother/teacher) quit to school them. We don t know how to begin any process. What do you recommend?