Hello, This is Dr. Viraj Shah, Master of Public Health answering your query. I can understand that you are suffering from anxiety, depression and the symptoms you are describing are of the severe category. However, the ways you are using to get out of these symptoms are not healing and they will push you towards more severe illness regarding physical and mental health. Do not use any kind of drug at all. I would recommend you to talk to your family about the problems you are facing and see a mental health professional or psychiatrist as soon as possible. You need treatment for deaddiction, anxiety and severe depression. With counselling and medications, you will definitely feel better and will not have these problems anymore. I hope this information helps you. Thank you for choosing HCM. I wish you good health and good future.