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Suffering from phobia of having sex. What to do to get over this phobia?

I am newly married as of May 2012. My husband and I are older and have been married before. I am 45 and he is 49. He is physically fit. We arranged our marriage through a mutual friend. I did not know of his phobia before marriage and I am very upset I was not informed prior to marriage. His problem is he has a huge phobia of having sex. He has an extreme anxiety attack even if he lays next to me and puts his arm around me. He wont lay nude with me or even kiss. He tried once to make love to me in our second week of marriage but since then he will not do anything!! That is when I learned of his problem! It made me feel so horrible and we had a huge fight!! I am out of paitients now. He won't even try to do anything but kiss my cheek, pat my back and give me a "far away" hug. It's almost a year now and I cannot support this anymore!! A few months ago he finally told me the phobia is from a time when he was having sex with a girlfriend in a hotel room in Las Vegas on holiday and men barged into the room and tried to kill him. He fought for his life and since then he is not right. I told him I should have been advised prior to marriage of this problem. This is not right to do to a person. What can I do to get him over this phobia???
Asked On : Sat, 6 Apr 2013
Answers:  1 Views:  27
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Psychiatrist 's  Response
Thanks for using health care magic.

I have gone through your history.

His Phobia is attributed to the event happened during his earlier life. he may also have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms like severe anxiety while seeing someone nude or night mares etc.

You should take him to qualified psychiatrist for detailed evaluation and treatment. After assessment, your doctor may prescribe anti depressant drugs like peroxetine or sertraline or escitalopram along with anti anxiety drugs.

He may also get benefit by counselling and relaxation therapy like yoga, meditation and breathing exercise.

He may also get improvement with Cognitive - Behavior Psychotherapy by expert counselor.

I hope He will be fine and both of you can enjoy your married life soon.

Answered: Fri, 3 May 2013
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