Where do i start?
I think that I may be emotionally damaged or at least I think there might be something wrong with me emotionally. Since I was a child up until grade eleven (just over three years ago) my parents constantly fought really badly, in fact I don't ever remember a time in my childhood when my parents weren't fighting and I was actually happy. Eventually they split up and my dad was diagnosed with clinical depression, apparently he'd had it since his mother died when he was nineteen but it had been 'suppressed' I guess you could say, due to the fact that their were other life occurrences, such as my grandfather's death on my mother's side and my mother being diagnosed with a heart condition, that seemed to over ride his mourning time. He tried to commit suicide three times though he doesn't know that I know. He was put on anti depressants which basically turned him into a robot so he turned to marijuana and he has never been happier (apart from occasional days where he becomes quite irritable). He is moving in with his new girlfriend soon and seems fine. Also I was bullied on a regular basis for almost three years, and some of the people who had bullied me were supposed to have been my friends.
Anyway, I thought those facts might help you with my situation.
Under normal social circumstances I am generally nice to people and seem fairly normal, but at home I tend to be quite irritable and angry (and sometimes insensitive) I prefer to be by myself rather than spend time with my family. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, when I'm by myself I experience horrible self loathing and break down in tears. Sometimes I feel lonely and other times I think that I'd much rather be alone then be in a relationship with someone.
I tend to chase guys that have no interest in me other than sex and push away guys that actually want a relationship from me. As a consequence of that I sometimes think that men are nothing but pigs and I become a little bit of a feminist sometimes.
I often don't like being touched by my parents or my brother, but I don't mind it from other people unless it's a stranger.
I hate becoming emotional in front of people and can't stand sharing my feelings, I tend to stuff my real feelings down (unless it's anger, then I just let myself be angry) and cover it with a smile. I tend to be very good at doing it.
I become extremely uncomfortable around emotional people and tend to shut down and try and ignore them. If people talk about a traumatic experience in their life, such as someone close to them dying, I tend to be unemotional or I just don't really care, in some rare cases I actually start laughing. For example, when my dad was going through his depression he told me that he had admitted himself into hospital because he was having suicidal thoughts. I was very emotionally neutral about the whole thing, he could have been telling me the time or asking about the weather and I would have felt the same way. I tried to be angry, I even tried to be upset or cry about it, but I just couldn't, it was like I just didn't care.
Another time when I went to TAFE after high school, this girl that I used to hang around started talking about how her pet died and I would say sympathetic words but the whole time I was trying not to smile. I don't know why I found it funny. Sometimes when I talk about my own animals dying or something similar I have to stop myself from smiling, even though at the time of their deaths I was very distraught.

I can't think of anything else right now, but I'm sure there is more. The thing is I don't care that I'm like this, I just want to know what is happening.

So what do you think? Do I have some sort of weird complex? Or am I just emotionally weird?