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Suffering from depression after mothers death. What should I do?

I found my mom dead on Jan 9 on my sisters birthday my mom was every thing to me I cant quit crying I cant help my husband and son I need my mom I listen to tapes with her voice I want to be with her so bad I cant stand the pain in my heart she lived with me for the last ten or so years and I loved that lady so much and I don t know how to live with out her
Asked On : Tue, 22 Jan 2013
Answers:  2 Views:  61
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General & Family Physician 's  Response
Hello and welcome,

Thanks for writing to us.

I understand you have suffered a great loss. And the grief can take over everything in your life and make everything else seem less important.

But, it is how we deal with this grief and come out smiling and successful is when we can say we have won one of the battles that life forced us to face.

Before anything else, I would like to ask you one question. How far did your mother go to make you happy as a child? How far out of her way did she go to get you something that might have brought a 2 second smile on your face? Did she do things on a daily basis to make you happy, to see to it that you don't get hurt? I am guessing, always!!

What was the purpose of this? Well, there can be only one. To see to it that you are happy always, that nothing should sadden you. Right?

Well, if she were given a chance to ask you for something before she left, what do you think it would be?

She would want you to always be happy. Always smile.

There is a famous saying in my part of the world, "When I am gone, do not cry. Think of me, and all the beautiful memories we shared, and smile"

I am sure she would want you to be happy always. And I am sure you can do that for her.

Face your grief, don't just think about her passing away. But, think about all the times she was happy when she was around. I know this is not going to be easy, but this is something you will have to do for her.

Why did she love you so much? Why were you so attached to her? It is because she kept her child (you) before everybody else, and you will have to do the same. Without her, your family wouldn't have lasted a day, in her prime. Follow the examples she has left for you to learn from. Your immediate family needs you. And you need to prove to everybody that, although you may never fit into your mothers shoes, you certainly are her daughter, and will live life with the same principles and love for people, that she had.

Dealing with grief is greater than just losing a loved one, it is how you show your respect for the departed and how you register every lesson that person has taught you during their life time.

I am sure you would want to make her proud, and better than anybody else, you know how to do that.

My condolences and best wishes to you and your family. You can always write back to us/me for any assistance you need.

Best wishes.
Answered: Tue, 22 Jan 2013
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Psychiatrist Dr. Sundar Gnanavel's  Response
Thanks for your query. What you are describing is a typical grief reaction following loss of a loved one which we call as bereavement. What i would suggest you is to meet a clinical psychologist for a thorough evaluation so that grief therapy can be carried. This would help in early resolution of grief. Generally we expect the grief period to last around 2 months. No medication is required at this stage. Psychotherapy would be the advisable option.
Dr Sundar
Answered: Thu, 24 Jan 2013
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