Dear Welcome to HCM We understand your concerns I went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. My dear. Past is past. Forgetfulness and ignorance are blessing. God has given us these blessings. We always think about the negatives that happened in our life which are certainly very few. So many positive things happened in our life, we seldom remembers and take lessons out of them. In other words, what ever happened in your life, negative or positive, those gave you positive lessons which shall help you perform better in your future. Therefore, there are no negative happenings. These are only in our thoughts. Depression, anxiety etc are disorders. Means they are not diseases. Disorders normally do not need medicines. Psychotherapy techniques like cognitive behavior therapy, desensitization therapy etc shall be able to cure most of the problems. Every mental disorder is curable. Thoughts are there to come and that is the duty of the brain. let the thoughts come. You need to divert the thoughts to more priority ones. Means, be busy and divert thoughts. Relaxation and meditation plays an important role in controlling mental disorders. Plenty of water, oxygen and exercise also are most important. Please You can post a direct question to me in this website. Include every detail as much as you can. I shall prescribe some psychotherapy techniques to control your condition. I am sure that the techniques should be a success. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.