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Severe pain during intecourse for the first time, had used plenty of foreplay and lubrication. Cause?

Hi, Mia! My husband and I got married yesterday evening. Unfortunately, when we engaged in intercourse for the first time, it was very painful for me. We have tried again a couple of times, and intercourse still remains VERY painful. I guess technically we have not had sex yet. What could be the issue? Every time we have attempted intercourse, there has been plenty of foreplay and lubrication was used.
Asked On : Wed, 30 Jan 2013
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Sexologist 's  Response


What you describe is unfortunately not uncommon.

Please see "vaginismus" and the animated pictures I have given to describe the condition. I suggest you do not do Google Search for the fear of getting misinformation.

" _ _I guess technically we have not had sex yet _ _ _"

You are right. There has been no insertion of penis in vagina.

This is called unconsummated sex or unconsummated marriage.

Details of how to resolve this is available on my web site.

It is not lack of lubrication, but involuntary contraction of pubococcygeus muscles that shut the vaginal orifice and any attempt to insert causes pain.

Systematically you will be able to relax and vaginal orifice will allow the entry of penis.

Keep enjoying the foreplay till then.

If you hav additional questions feel free to ask.

Dr. Ashok Koparday

Consultant Sex Therapist Marriage Counselor
Answered: Thu, 31 Jan 2013
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