Thanks for your query. I can understand the emotional turmoil you can undergoing. These life events- called as bereavement which means loss of loved ones is traumatising. I suggest you seek a psychological counsellor to ventilate your frustration and associated thoughts. You also require a thorough psychiatric evaluation for underlying depressive symptoms. You might require anti-depressant medication or psychotherapy
(eg. cognitive behavioural therapy) as appropriate. Hope you find my suggestions useful.
Dr Sundar Gnanavel