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Dr. Andrew Rynne
MD
Dr. Andrew Rynne

Family Physician

Exp 50 years

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How To Resolve Communication Conflicts In Relationship?

Sir, Am in a relationship for the last two years. I had no problems when my my girlfriend talking to other guys. But now a days am feeling so. I myself believed to be a liberal and a feminist. But am not. Yesterday my girlfriend had a beer party with some other guy and it dozed me off. I know it is my problem, but i can not help myself. I even can not talk to her. Please help me.
Thu, 2 Mar 2017
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General & Family Physician 's  Response
Hello,
Thank you for your writing to healthcare magic.

You have mentioned that you are in a relationship for 2 years. This is quite a long time and by now you should have a full understanding of your girlfriend. Sometimes guys get more possessive over their girl and this in turn lead to a number of issues like yours. Please do not feel over worried as it is pretty easy to resolve and I will let you know how.

1)The first and foremost thing you have to do is to "Talk". You have said that "you can't even talk to her". This can be due to your assumptions that she likes someone more than you or due to the inbuilt anger that she went out with someone that has developed without your knowledge. Sit down, relax and take a deep breath before talking to her. If you don't find face to face communication comfortable, you can try talking to her over phone. Just keep in mind that you are going to do this for your future with the girl you desire. Also think about the happy times you spent together. All these can give you the boost to start a conversation. Trust me, only the first hello is difficult once you start off then everything will fall in place.

2) There is nothing wrong in opening out yourself to your girlfriend. After all she knows you quite well inside out. Have a healthy discussion. Both of you talk out about the things that your partner likes doing and also the things that bother you. Do not be very straight as it is a delicate situation, tell her that it hurts your feelings when she does certain things and do not forget to mention the things that make you like her more as well.

3) The next step is to give her some time to adjust. Sometimes it is difficult to change overnight. You might have to give her gentle reminders on the issues, regular conversations and finally wait for the results. Even if you find that there is no change in her it is always better to speak it out politely rather than getting into arguments.

4) Finally, you do not have to think that you are not liberal because of this problem. This is quite normal and almost 99% of men who think so face the same situation. They do not communicate and bury their feelings deep which in longer run ruins the relationship. Sometimes, a simple talk can result wonders. Wishing you a wonderful life ahead.

Regards,
Dr. Manoj Pradeep MD
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How To Resolve Communication Conflicts In Relationship?

Hello, Thank you for your writing to healthcare magic. You have mentioned that you are in a relationship for 2 years. This is quite a long time and by now you should have a full understanding of your girlfriend. Sometimes guys get more possessive over their girl and this in turn lead to a number of issues like yours. Please do not feel over worried as it is pretty easy to resolve and I will let you know how. 1)The first and foremost thing you have to do is to Talk . You have said that you can t even talk to her . This can be due to your assumptions that she likes someone more than you or due to the inbuilt anger that she went out with someone that has developed without your knowledge. Sit down, relax and take a deep breath before talking to her. If you don t find face to face communication comfortable, you can try talking to her over phone. Just keep in mind that you are going to do this for your future with the girl you desire. Also think about the happy times you spent together. All these can give you the boost to start a conversation. Trust me, only the first hello is difficult once you start off then everything will fall in place. 2) There is nothing wrong in opening out yourself to your girlfriend. After all she knows you quite well inside out. Have a healthy discussion. Both of you talk out about the things that your partner likes doing and also the things that bother you. Do not be very straight as it is a delicate situation, tell her that it hurts your feelings when she does certain things and do not forget to mention the things that make you like her more as well. 3) The next step is to give her some time to adjust. Sometimes it is difficult to change overnight. You might have to give her gentle reminders on the issues, regular conversations and finally wait for the results. Even if you find that there is no change in her it is always better to speak it out politely rather than getting into arguments. 4) Finally, you do not have to think that you are not liberal because of this problem. This is quite normal and almost 99% of men who think so face the same situation. They do not communicate and bury their feelings deep which in longer run ruins the relationship. Sometimes, a simple talk can result wonders. Wishing you a wonderful life ahead. Regards, Dr. Manoj Pradeep MD