Hello,
Loss of libido is common in women after childbirth. You need to give yourself some more time to cope with the stress that your body has undergone during parturition and labour. The pain that you have mentioned may be because of a episiotomy, a surgical incision made in the vulvovagina extending towards the anus, to increase the size of the birth canal. If your episiotomy has not healed completely or is too tightly sutured then it may cause pain. You should visit your gynaecologist for an examination. Currently there are no drugs to enhance female libido, though research is on.
All the best.

I am an OB/GYN with 10+ years of experience (and father of 4) and I want to tell you that what you are experiencing is completely normal.



First of all, with regard to the physiologic changes associated with breast-feeding. When you are breast-feeding, there is a suppression of your normal cycles, lower levels of estrogen, and resulting / temporary thinning and fragility of the vaginal 'skin'. This results in painful intercourse, and, not suprisingly, a decrease in libido.



Also related to hormonal changes while breast-feeding, libido is suppressed. This would make sense from an evolutionary standpoint - it would not be advantageous for the mother to be getting pregnant while taking care of a newborn.



There is no medicine that you can take for your libido. Things will continue to get back to normal further once you have completely stopped breast-feeding. Second, it might be worth a trip back to your OB/GYN to re-examine your bottom and make sure everything has healed correctly (I am assuming you had a vaginal birth). Finally, I am trying not to underestimate the strain that a new child has on a relationship, but it does! Ask your husband to be patient. For some women, a visit with a psychologist also helps.



Good luck!