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Dr. Andrew Rynne
MD
Dr. Andrew Rynne

Family Physician

Exp 50 years

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How To Get Rid Of Passive Aggressive Behavior?

srinivas chakravarthy:::HI, I am a male, 37 year old, married and working. I have had issues on and off with my work pver the last 11 years. After some analysis, I feel that I am suffering from Passive Aggressive behaviour. Childhood Had an over protective mother (adopted) who ensured that there is no dialogue regarding any issue at home. She (was later developed with some disorders herself) would brush me away loudly without an opportunity to negotiate my case. I developed my defense mechanism as not arguing (negotiating) and sulking as the only option to get my way. Education I have done my engineering and MBA from premier institutes in the country though was never very good at acads (in terms of academic performance during the course of my education). Work I have changed 5 jobs over the last 11 years. I perform very well when I have sufficient freedom to do my work. I am driven by opportunities to display cerativity in problem solving and organization. My performance is very poor under aggressive supervisors or situations where I have less freedom (micro managed, being told what needs to be done). I also develop a deep sense of anger that lingers on in these circumstances. This adversely impacts my productivity as well as leads me to take emotional decisions. Personal life I have also faced anxiety attack and went through a phase of extremely low self confidence for a period of 4 to 5 years. This was preceded by sustained stress over a period of about 2 to 3 years due to unhappy job and strained family situation. During this phase, I had doubts regarding my ability to manage a job and take up normal assignments (even meetings with clients etc.). I have been able to come out of it partly due to the easing out of stress situation at home and my ability to push the limits of my fear. While I went through a rough marriage which led to my stress fatigue situation mentioned above, I srinivas chakravarthy::: currently have a very supportive spouse and lead a very happy family life(2 children). I currently have comfortable financial situation. Issue I am unable to work under aggressive authority figures. Under such circumstances, I develop thoughts that I am being victimised and under appreciated (though on closer scrutiny, my performance levels are poor). With aggressive people, I usually am not able to defend myself effectively and apologise frequently (even if I am not at a fault). In such circumstances, I have a sense of anger at being wronged which clouds my objectivity of the situation. Solution Will wait for you suggestion though my perception is that I need help with my passive aggressive nature and support to improve upon my assertiveness skills.
Tue, 30 Sep 2014
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Psychiatrist 's  Response
Yes you are right in identifying your problem to some extent. To be accurate, I would call it problem with authority rather than passive aggressive behaviour. In passive aggression, to show aggression towards object of aggression which may be your boss, you actually do your work extensively. You are right in saying that you need to be assertive. Start saying no and defending yourself when you are right. A psychiatrist or a psychologist could help you with some sessions.
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How To Get Rid Of Passive Aggressive Behavior?

Yes you are right in identifying your problem to some extent. To be accurate, I would call it problem with authority rather than passive aggressive behaviour. In passive aggression, to show aggression towards object of aggression which may be your boss, you actually do your work extensively. You are right in saying that you need to be assertive. Start saying no and defending yourself when you are right. A psychiatrist or a psychologist could help you with some sessions.