I am in big trouble in my life now. Completely trapped in vicious mistakes. This is what extreme thing a depressed mind can do. I need serious help to come out of this , plzzzz save me. I m 29 yrs old from lucknow. This small incident happened 4 yrs back. I went to friends house. To wash face I went to his bathroom. Bathroom was having bucket n comode. While washing face , mug slipped Out of my hand and falled into comode. At the same moment, This I considered as big mistake of my life. Instead of informing friend abt what happened and simply throwing that mug, with shame feelings I tried to clean the mug with water and didn t informed my friend. After 2 days depressed mind took control. Over thinking about my mistake, blaming myself day n night.on top of that thinking into technical details like what-if mug was not cleaned properly and friends used it for mouth wash. That was enough for my depressed mind to take full charge on me. Now With heavy heart n courage I m telling this. As a guilt feeling I went to public toilet and eat poop as punishment for myself. But this was more biggest mistake of my life. Guilty mind starter thinking technically again. I stayed with my parents. What if I spoiled shared utensils at home like dinner plates glassess. And I went for 4 5 times to public toilet., compensate my viccious mistakes. This my mind was thinking this is only way to compensate. Every such action was hell and just gave me death experience. But even after 4 yrs I didn t came out of this and depressed mind gets evoked any time. 4 yrs damn 4 yrs ,I suffered liked anything. No enjoying, nothing, professional personal life suffered. Still feeling my all sins are not cleared and I should go to public toilet again n eat poop. It was never easy to write this. Many of you will think what foolish I m. But thts the power of anxiety, depression, guilt feeling. Sometimes I feel to Quit , to quit forever to come out of this. Again it is not easy to write this. Shall I tell my parents? My parents are orthodox , neat n clean people . Will they accept my sins. By not telling them, over thinking is pushing me down to whirlpool of depression again n again. Plz help plz to take out of this. Show quoted text Hide quoted text I am in big trouble in my life now. Completely trapped in vicious mistakes. This is what extreme thing a depressed mind can do. I need serious help to come out of this , plzzzz save me. I m 29 yrs old from lucknow. This small incident happened 4 yrs back. I went to friends house. To wash face I went to his bathroom. Bathroom was having bucket n comode. While washing face , mug slipped Out of my hand and falled into comode. At the same moment, This I considered as big mistake of my life. Instead of informing friend abt what happened and simply throwing that mug, with shame feelings I tried to clean the mug with water and didn t informed my friend. After 2 days depressed mind took control. Over thinking about my mistake, blaming myself day n night.on top of that thinking into technical details like what-if mug was not cleaned properly and friends used it for mouth wash. That was enough for my depressed mind to take full charge on me. Now With heavy heart n courage I m telling this. As a guilt feeling I went to public toilet and eat poop as punishment for myself. But this was more biggest mistake of my life. Guilty mind starter thinking technically again. I stayed with my parents. What if I spoiled shared utensils at home like dinner plates glassess. And I went for 4 5 times to public toilet., compensate my viccious mistakes. This my mind was thinking this is only way to compensate. Every such action was hell and just gave me death experience. But even after 4 yrs I didn t came out of this and depressed mind gets evoked any time. 4 yrs damn 4 yrs ,I suffered liked anything. No enjoying, nothing, professional personal life suffered. Still feeling my all sins are not cleared and I should go to public toilet again n eat poop. It was never easy to write this. Many of you will think what foolish I m. But thts the power of anxiety, depression, guilt feeling. Sometimes I feel to Quit , to quit forever to come out of this. Again it is not easy to write this. Shall I tell my parents? My parents are orthodox , neat n clean people . Will they accept my sins. By not telling them, over thinking is pushing me down to whirlpool of depression again n again. Plz help plz to take out of this.