In the past few months I have become increasingly uncomfortable in social situations. I am not depressed, and am perfectly content as long as my routine or daydreaming isn t disturbed. It seems like I m always daydreaming or deep in thought or having hypothetical conversations-brilliant, life-changing things that I believe would dumbfound people if I could communicate the same way in person. It s like I ve forgotten how to socialize. I ve always been shy, but still socially adept and somewhat extroverted after warming up to people. Now I feel resentment toward my own mother when she interrupts my solitude. I even suspect she may do things on purpose like that because she likes to see me uncomfortable. This is the only situation that makes me cry. Otherwise people say I look blank, and I don t feel very strong emotions other than satisfaction or paranoia . I find myself talking to my reflection, saying she s evil! (about my mother) after she sabotages my peace. Sudden noises and movement make me jump and get anxious also, even if I expect it. If there s even the slightest sound in the house when I m alone I check to see if anyone s there or trying to come in. I also call out Who s there? when I know my mom s at work. But I m nervous she snuck in somehow. I feel like I m anticipating abuse, but she doesn t abuse me. Somehow I get into the moments in which I don t trust her anyway. Same with friends. I think they re all coming together to gang up on me and make me feel like a fool because they secretly all get together to deceive me. This isn t all the time, but it s a lot of the time. It used to really bother me, but one day I just stopped caring about friendships. I am the happiest, most peaceful, most creative, least bored I ve ever been when I m 100% alone. Whenever I have to talk to someone it makes me feel like I m running out of time for something important. Everything feels rushed. I cut them off a lot. I can t really under stand them, so it s a waste. If my mom isn t extremely concise I just zone out and can t process any of what she s saying. Most of what she tells me, and some of my own thoughts, I forget. This happens a lot mid-sentence for me. She complains because it takes me so long to answer a question. I can t help it. I ve developed a slight stutter too. I don t know what s happening to me. I ve been paranoid since high school, but the fear of people, noise anxiety , aggression and absent-mindedness is very recent. I m unsure of what to do, but my mom is getting sick of my behavior. She thinks I can simply choose to be social and not freak out at everything. Why would I choose this? I can t be around people. I just can t. Most of this started happening after I had to withdraw from college and move in with my mom. I swear I m not depressed though. In fact, when every once in a while I have 30-minute fits of mild hypomania or childlike giggly-ness where I sometimes feel less intelligent and kind of in a trance, but very happy. I don t have long periods of true mania or hypomania though. My moods are generally quiet.