Hi. Medication is the best method of treatment for ADHD
. If your partner is able to manage without medication and doing his work and other activities without difficulty than diagnosis need revision. He may be having something else. Secondly your relationship issue need evaluation , to know the cause of discord. Is it because of the illness or maladjustment, because intervention need to be cause specific.
Consult a psychologist
for your relationship issue along with your husband and sort it out differently.
By this both of your problem can be solved