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Emotional turmoil on being looked down, not given due respect. How can I overcome this?

Hi madam, i have a strange query. it relates to my culture (i meant my bringing up), hence it may seems silly to you. i am a 35 year old guy. i have to been taught to respect elders while behave and talk to them, by my parents. the way i was taught to respect, is to take care while address them in day to day life like addressing elder brother or sir before i talk to them or atleast address by their name. i fllowed the same thoughut my life. But whenever i come across the younger than me guys (even 7-8 years younger than me), they used to address me like as we they talk to guys very younger to them . even the actions and words reflect they way when we talk to guys younger to me. I am a guy at 35 feels very bad about it. second thing is the managers who is very younger to me talk as if they order me . i caught on these thoughts always and become neurotic and spoiled my life, they (younger than me) unaware of that i am holding my anger within me in humiliation, enjoyed their life through and i spolied me. i dont know how to react on those situations, i dont have guts just because i dont want to hurt them. i thinks same time that, they thinks me as a friend thatsy. but its truely iritating to hear the way they speak. i always controoled myself and soiled my health in holding back becuz i worried all the time for same. how to respond or not getting hold of these ego related things? is it a right thing? cant i expect the way younger behave to me as i respect my elders? is it okay if i respond again each and everyone who does this? the interesting things which make my thought worse is they even repect others of age with respect as i want, just for the reason they look older and i look youger. how to get rid of this and be cool in life and save head going into devils grave? pls help
Asked On : Mon, 10 Dec 2012
Answers:  2 Views:  25
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Psychiatrist 's  Response
Thanks for using healthcare magic for your queries.
I can understand, whats going in your mind. Even in a single country, there are many sub-cultures and you should always expect some variation in them. You did what was good when you were young and you felt good about it. it was a selfless behaviour. One can always control oneself. Expecting others to behave in the way you want, is now a selfish thing. Only the fact that they are not behaving the way you do, doesnt make them wrong. Please try to understand that its only your behaviour, feeling and emotions are under your control and nothing else. If you dont think so much about these facts, may be you will change your feelings and mood as well. Try getting yourself involved in some hobbies or stuff that you always wanted to do. Spend some time with your family. If these things do not help you, you should seek a Psychiatrist to discuss these issues in detail.
Hope I am able to solve your queries.
Answered: Thu, 13 Dec 2012
I find this answer helpful
Psychiatrist Dr. Sundar Gnanavel's  Response
Thanks for query. I can understand your predicament. Giving respect does not mean you compromise on your self-esteem or self-respect. What you require is to meet a psychologist to undergo "assertiveness therapy" which would help you to gain enough confidence to deal with such situations. In addition, you can be assessed for your personality profile by a psychiatrist to learn/master simple behavioural techniques that will sort out your issues. You need to remember that you are predisposed to depressive illness due to stressors and above strategies may avoid such a situation. Hope you find my suggestions constructive.
Dr Sundar Gnanavel
Answered: Thu, 3 Jan 2013
I find this answer helpful
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