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Constantly tensed, short temper, urge to harm people who were hurtful, loss of feelings and emotions, hatred, pressured feeling. Help

Hey I'm 24 years old. I'm always tense and I feel like I'm always angry. I really dislike people and I feel like if given the oppurtunity I would really do some harm to people who have done me wrong. I don't feel like its a normal reaction I feel like I'm seriosly degrading another persons life.

I love my girlfriend atleast I think I do, I love being with her but emotion that emotion love doesn't feel like much of anything. I dont feel like other people proclaim to feel. She's logically the best person for me. I don't abuse her and I dont think I ever will. My ex however would send me over the wall and I really hurt her. It's like Im always on the bring of an explosion. I always get the feeling that my friends aren't my friends. I always degrade them based on the lack of intelligence they have. Stupid people. I dont know why I feel like I'm better than them. I don't know why when I walk into walmart everyone around me sickens me. I don't understand why I'm filled with such hate. It's really come to the point where it's starting to scare me. Like this dark pressure inside me is growing. I have a cat and sometimes I get frustrated with but I toss him around like he isnt alive. Sometimes by the neck, sometiems I even imagine choking it until it can't move. Afterwards im engulfed in this flush of sadness thinking about missing him. I sometimes imagine my girlfriend dead but then I that same sadness hits me. Then anger. I sometimes dream about selectively wiping out the human race. It's really farfetched but who am I to judge someones value? I feel like I want to just REMOVE filth and another part of me wants to help that filth.

This has been longer than intended. I have no insurance and i've been trying to find help whereever I can get it. That's why Im trying to get all the info I can in one message. I also eat ALOT to cope with this. WHat is wrong with me? Will I kill someone? Could I? When I hurt my ex I would feel horrible after I did what I did. SOmetimes I would feel bad while doing it. Liek it was her fault! SHe made me do it! I knew better but I wanted to kill her...over nothing I knew it was NOTHING but still I couldnt control it. I can never control it ever!
Asked On : Thu, 17 Oct 2013
Answers:  1 Views:  9
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Psychologist 's  Response
Dec 2015
Welcome to HCM
We understand your concerns

I went through your detailed description. I suggest you to immediately find a psychiatrist in your area for further treatment. If your description is truly what is actually happening, you must be suffering from multiple personality disorder, impulse control disorder and possible schizophrenia. Therefore I suggest you to find a psychiatrist immediately. But I can assure you, you will not kill anyone.

Alternatively, you can consult one of our psychiatrists online through this same site. Every details are available in the home page.

Hope you understand the depth of the situation. Available for further clarifications.
Good luck.
Answered: Wed, 20 Nov 2013
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