Hi im 20 year old male born with a deformed skull i look really weird. Im suffering from social. generalised anxiety and major depression some days worse than others. i have Nearly every symptom. i had a few bad panic attacks in collage so i dont go anymore i hate been in public. The only good thing my appetite has returned to normal now. i do reckless behaviour like crazy driving in cars and motorbikes just for the thrill i get it helps me when im anxious. i abused drugs since i was 16 , valum ,weed, drink etc it made me feel good at the time but also it messed my head up. i just don't care about life and have no fear. I got called names through out my teens and always think people are looking at me but they usually do and laugh. its really affected me all this anxiety so i stopped socialising and enjoying things i used to enjoy with friends. I just sit in my bedroom sleeping and feeling very down I really dont see the point in living any more. my parents are worried about me i never discussed my problems with them. i have bad sleep and dreams every night with 2 years now. i hate my appearance or the shape of my head i have a pretty face tho. im starting to go bald from the stress and look like an alien thats my nick name too. People dont regonise me they say i look different from a few from years ago when i had hair that covered the shape off my head. im confused because i have my whole life ahead off me but can't function daily because im so insecure about myself. I cant look people in the eyes and have bery bad family relationships. i have developed ocd looking in the mirror for hours cutting my hair, adhd , impulisive control disorder, post tramitic stress, restless leg symdrome, plmd back pains chest pains ect. i hate the thought of going to bed because i wake up really depressed . Are these mental illness developing from my chronic anxiety and bad dreams over the last few years??? i used to be happy as a teen but always had mild anxiety. i can't live my life like this feeling depressed and anxious about the way i look. Life is suppose to be enjoyable not a daily struggle, fighting battles in my head and physical pains from depression and anxiety.iv thought about sucide and planned it but thats a cowards way out. im so sick of life and feeling this way with too long i dont think il ever be happy