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Why Does A Child Lie?

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Posted on Mon, 3 Nov 2014
Question: My son is at a school camp. We got a call from the camp cautiously asking if I was ok. He told other kids that I just died in a car accident. When counselors asked him about what happened he went so far as to tell them that he was angry because the driver that hit me survived. This happened less than a half hour after I had a call with him we talked for 15 minutes about how great his day was. Then, I asked him to send me pictures of his cabin and he texted me three pictures. He had the entire class crying and the counselors doing grief counseling on life and death before they found out I was alive. The school officials and counselors have dealt with it. He has apologized to everyone. This is so out of the blue, I don't know what to think or do. I have to pick him up tomorrow.
doctor
Answered by Dr. Sumanth Amperayani (16 minutes later)
Brief Answer:
Need more information

Detailed Answer:
Hi....this is very unusual that too after a nice talk with you.

I have a few questions for you and few suggestions -

Questions -
1. What is his age?
2. Have you at any point of time observed him telling lies?
3. At any point of time, did the school people spoke to you regarding this?
4. Previously any time - incidences like this happen before?
5. Is there any parental discord in the family going on right now?
6. Does he have any reason to have any anger on you in the recent past?
7. How many kids at home and is there a possibility of sibling rivalry?
8. Does he have any attention seeking behavior previously?

Please get back to me with answers to above questions and I will be glad to help you.

Regards - Dr. Sumanth



Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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Follow up: Dr. Sumanth Amperayani (37 minutes later)
1. He just turned 11.
2. He does not have a habit of lying besides random attempts to avoid brushing his teeth.
3. I had his brother at a Tae Kwon Do lesson so his mother took the calls.
4. No previous incidences like this. We had to deal with anger issues with him last year. He is extremely smart and is in advanced math, science, English, etc... He had a lot more work required of him and he put a lot of pressure on himself and the frustration was coming out. We worked with him to help plan and get more efficient with his work and by the end of the year the anger issues had dissipated. The only times we still sometimes see it is when he gets frustrated with his younger brother who knows how to push his buttons.
5. His mother filed for divorce in April of 2012. Due to financial conditions, she lost her job and we have a fair amount of debt, we are still living under the same roof. She sleeps in the back room. The atmosphere is generally cordial. We were never fighters.
6. I have never seen anger towards me with the exception of sometimes he feels I pick his brother's side when they are fighting. I am always calm and try to discuss who is at fault and I believe that his brother gets in just as much trouble as he does. I have seen disappointment and anger towards his mother when she leaves for 5 or 6 day weekends to stay with friends.
7. He has a younger 9 year old brother. I don't see anything that I would consider a rivalry that is out of the ordinary. They have different personalities. The 11 year old is a studious book worm and the 9 year old has non-stop energy and always wants to play and interact. They can play well together, then, at some point the older boy will want to do something quiet and individual like build Legos. This is when conflict can occur when the younger son continues to try to interact when the older boy wants to be left alone.
8. I can't think of any instances of attention seeking. We have alone time without his younger brother on many occasions and through Scouts.
doctor
Answered by Dr. Sumanth Amperayani (5 hours later)
Brief Answer:
He needs psychological evaluation

Detailed Answer:
HI...I understand your concerns. I have gone through the detailed history you have provided me after my questioning. I feel that it very abnormal for a 11 year old to do this. Before I knew his age my thoughts were that he would have been a kid and for a prank he would have told a small lie which he never expected to cause so much commotion and had re-lied because of fear of teachers and counsellors. But a 11 year old doing this with a previous history of temper tantrums and parental discord definitely needs psychological evaluation and counselling.

I think he is comparing himself with his peer groups were in some parents are still together. At this age he will definitely understand the concept of divorce even though she is still living in the same house. I strongly feel this is what is bothering him and that is the reason why I too asked in my questioning about parental discord (because this is such a common scenario world wide in many micro families).

I suggest you take him to a child psychologist.

If you are happy and convinced with my answer kindly rate it.
I wish your kid a speedy recovery. If you need any future medical consultation and suggestions, I will be glad to help. You can approach me at the following link. Please find the link below.
www.healthcaremagic.com/doctors/dr-sumanth-amperayani/67696


Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Sumanth Amperayani (3 hours later)
What you say is not entirely unexpected. I have been getting referrals for a child psychologist.

I guess what I was looking for was some insight as to the psychology behind it. Why was it taken to the extreme of a death that obviously did not occur when I literally just had a great conversation with him 15 minutes earlier? And, more specifically, why me? Trying to remain objective, I believe we have a really good relationship and I think he would say that as well.
doctor
Answered by Dr. Sumanth Amperayani (7 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Dissociative personality/ split personality

Detailed Answer:
Hi....when you ask about insight into what's happening in his mind, I feel that this could be early on symptom of dissociative personality or split personality in which he wouldn't even have had the feeling that he's doing something which is not good and might hurt your feelings.

But to get into the real depth of the issue, He needs to be interviewed by a professional who would be observing his face and mannerisms too while interviewing. Then only we will be able to find out the truth about why he's doing this.

Please do remember that this is my suggestion with what history I could elicit from you. Please consult with your child psychologist for more detailed evaluation and explanation.

I wish your son a happy and bright future ahead. Please get back if you have any questions regarding this.

Regards - Dr. Sumanth
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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Answered by
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Dr. Sumanth Amperayani

Pediatrician, Pulmonology

Practicing since :2003

Answered : 8339 Questions

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Why Does A Child Lie?

Brief Answer: Need more information Detailed Answer: Hi....this is very unusual that too after a nice talk with you. I have a few questions for you and few suggestions - Questions - 1. What is his age? 2. Have you at any point of time observed him telling lies? 3. At any point of time, did the school people spoke to you regarding this? 4. Previously any time - incidences like this happen before? 5. Is there any parental discord in the family going on right now? 6. Does he have any reason to have any anger on you in the recent past? 7. How many kids at home and is there a possibility of sibling rivalry? 8. Does he have any attention seeking behavior previously? Please get back to me with answers to above questions and I will be glad to help you. Regards - Dr. Sumanth