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Why am I not able to have penetrative sex?

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General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 1995
Answered : 4036 Questions
Hi, I am suffering from a problem where I am unable to have penetrative sex with my husband. My age is 29yrs, height 5'6", weight 59 kg. Whenever we try to have sex at one point the penis seems to have hit a wall and there is extreme pain and no penetration and also no/less lubrication. We are married for 2 years now and haven't been able to have sex.
Posted Tue, 24 Apr 2012 in Sexual Problems
Answered by Dr. Pragnesh Vachharajani 31 minutes later

Thanks for posting your query.

Please understand that sex is an act to enjoy and participation from both the partner is must. The problem that you have may be due to several reasons like
1. Disinterest in sex by you
2. Phobia(fear) of the act, pain etc.
3. Lack of knowledge about the act and anatomy of genitals and some fear of unknown
4. Vaginismus: means the muscles of vagina gets tight and does not allow penetration- the reason being again disliking, fear, painful etc.
5. Some local infection.

In most of the females who never had sex in past, there is curtain like thing known as hymen covering the opening of vagina. This tears when ever penetrative sex is done, this is very fragile and does not require great effort to tear it. It is possible that you may be having problem with this.

Please try the following measures:
1. Have sex in morning- at this time the male hormones are on high, the erection will be more stonger and sustained and penetration becomes easy, secondly both of you are relaxed so you will enjoy.
2. Please read a book about sex along with your partner as this will clear the doubts if you have any
3. Please talk with your partner, guide him to the opening just below the opening from which you urinate, that is opening of vagina.
4. Do not have stress in mind of failure from past experiences.
5. Visit a gynecologist and get your self examined, some local problem or infection can be taken care easily.
6. Try different positions in which you and your partner is comfortable.

This must help, in case still have some problems, take help from your doctor who can look into the exact cause.

Please understand that penetrative sex is just one third of total experience, please do not ignore foreplay and afterplay which is equally important.

I hope this helps you, In case of any further doubts, I will be available for follow up.

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