Brief Answer: Explained below Detailed Answer: hello, welcome to HCM! I have read the question and from that I can see that you feel depressed and are never treated properly for the same. it also says that you are sad about many things in life, and feel at you have wasted it... First, as you have asked if it is possible that someone can be depressed whole life without knowing? The answer is a --- yes....In my clinical practice, I ( and many other psychiatrist) have seen many many people saying the same thing to us....it is quite common, beyond ones thought. it is because that you are of this type( unhappy type) you don't come. to know if it can be changed....sadness or unhappiness is a thought process, no one else comes to know easily and the patients have never felt very different from it most of the time. ----Only when such patients come up, after reading form somewhere, an article about depression or someone tells them that he felt better after treatment, you appreciate your own self as depressed/ anxious... so, it is seen frequently & that you are not the only one who had it. Please do not be hopeless, as it is well treatable. There had been multiple issue with your carrier, life,marriage, etc, which you feel were wrong, but it is always both the sides of coin in everything in life. when some one is depressed, he/ she thinks consistently of negative side only....that is what is probably happening in your case. The test which you did ( name is not mentioned) came out to be severe, but I would like to tell you that donot take it by scores, just by seeing the test result you should not start feeling more bad. The tests are just supportive in diagnosis, never confirmatory...so, it is not final. However , I am not denying that you are depressed. I would give you a sincere advice, that now should go and meet a psychiatrist. He would give you sow good antidepressant ( and you are otherwise healthy as you have written) , Like - sertraline or citalopram or des venlafaxine, and I can assure that within few days you will start feeling better. Please, if you have worked so hard in witirtng this question and getting a test, you must move ahead and get the treatment also.....it should be the next thing for you to do...it is never late to do a right thing in life.... Hope the reply helps you in getting better.. Please feel free to ask more questions for clarification If you are satisfied, kindly rate the answer Dr. Manisha Gopal MD Psychaitry

---