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Whenever I see a girl I feel happy and try to get her attention. Mental problem?

Dec 2014
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Answered by

Practicing since : 2007
Answered : 4792 Questions
I got married in Feb 2010. I have one concern, whenever I saw female(girls) then I got excited(means feel happy) and feel her presence. I try show self presence in front of her. Means feel like she look at me.
I try to note my presence in office also.
My wife notice this thing several times and due to this our Married life is not good. We fight regularly and she is not happy with me.

Now she adds my name with every other girl and fight and told me Mad. You have psychic problem to female.

Various times we reach till divorce.

Could you please let me know is it really a Mind/Psychic problem?
Please help me, I have major problem in my life.

Thanks in advance for your help.
Posted Tue, 5 Nov 2013 in Mental Health
Answered by Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi 25 hours later
Brief Answer:

Detailed Answer:
Welcome to XXXXXXX

I have read your problem and I can understand your concern. You are a healthy 29 years old male married since last 3 years. You have problems that whenever you see a girl you feel happy and try to get her attention. Your wife came to know about this and there is significant discord over this thing. She usually say that you are mad.

See to some extent seeing girls or trying to grab attention from girls even in married males is normal. This is a normal thing and there is nothing wrong in it. It is a normal human behavior to try to get attention from opposite sex. But after marriage with time such type of behaviors usually go away.

I want to know whether you got excited on seeing females or it is just feeling good in presence of office females?

I would advise you to not to keep guilt feeling about this thing in mind. Due to guild you cant control this behavior. Try to talk with your wife regarding your problem in clear words.

Second thing I would like to know, whether you want to control this behavior?

If you are trying to control this thing but fails to control then most probably there is some anxiety component associated. There is need to consult a Psychiatrist for expert advise. Cognitive Behavior Therapy can result in improvement in such cases.

It involves few simple steps like-

- To identify the faulty thoughts in you and to identify guilt in you.
- Once the faulty thoughts (your thinking about females) are identified the therapist helps to restructure these thoughts with special attention to ameliorate the guilt associated with thoughts.
- Then you can control the thoughts easily.

But before going to a Psychologist for such treatment I would like to tell you that main problem is in between you and your wife. If both of you can control the fights then you can control the thoughts easily. You can consult a Marriage Counselor for that as most likely this is not a psychic problem but the problem of marital disharmony.

Thanks, if you have more questions you can ask again.
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