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What Causes Painful Intercourse?

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Posted on Mon, 19 Sep 2016
Question: We got married this month and tried being intimate with each other but my wife is experiencing extreme pain during the intercourse. I think the hymen is very much intact and any push or pressure on it is hurting her. Please advise.


She is 24 years old, weighs around 40kgs and height being 5'2".
doctor
Answered by Dr. Nishikant Shrotri (2 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Body play with use of fingers and lubricants

Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX

I do empathize your situation.

Many a girls are quite apprehensive during their first few sexual intercourses. They fear that they will have extreme pain when something is trying to entre inside the vagina. They are not aware of the extreme distensibility of vagina which during delivery can accommodate about 3.5 inches or more wide head of the baby. Such girls need explanation and scientific information. A good Sexuality Counsellor would be very helpful to you in such condition.

I would like to give you certain instruction to be followed during sexual intercourse:

1. Touching woman's private organs dry is very uncomfortable and many a times painful Hence, avoid handling her private parts dry. Use some lubricant like vaginal jelly on your hands before touching her private parts.

2. Spend a good time in body play like handling the breasts, buttocks, lips, etc. before attempting actual penile entry. Please try to understand, everyday erotic points on woman's body go on shifting to different areas. After body play, when she is sexually aroused, she will herself demand penis in her vagina. Try penile entry only after that. In initial many attempts, complete penile entry is not possible. Does not matter even if only head of your penis entres vagina. I know many patients in whom the penile shaft entry was possible only after first delivery. For penile entry also, use good lubricant. Please do not use any oil based lubricant as they are harmful to the reproctory organs of woman. Use only water based lubricants. Vaginal jellies are very good for the purpose. During insertion, ask her to hold her thighs completely flexed and abducted. In fact the pain she feels more pain due to the constriction of vaginal sphincters. Trying to insert penis through contracted vaginal muscles is extremely painful. Make her breathe deep with mouth fully open while you are trying to insert the penis (or even finger). This will not let her constrict her vaginal sphincters and pain will be substantially less..

3. It is a good practice to use finger to enter into the vagina before putting in penis. It will give her some confidence and you will be able to dilate the hymen opening with your finger. Insert it only when she has started having copious discharge. Women unlike men have discharge at the beginning of sexual excitement.

4. You may refer to a book 'Kamsutra' by Vatsyayan. It is available in many languages in the world. It mentions many intricacies of sexual relations and play. You will definitely get a Kannad copy in Bengaluru.

Considering her physique, she seems to be very weak. Please give her good high protein diet with sufficient carbohydrates to build her health also.

If she is getting her menstruation regularly, her hymen is perforated. Does not seem to be a case of imperforate hymen. However, if these simple techniques do not help, you may get her examined from a Gynaecologist.

For any more, discussion, advice and assistance, I am always available for you, XXXXXXX Meanwhile you may post a good review with 5 stars rating for me.

Dr. Nishikant Shrotri
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Raju A.T
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Nishikant Shrotri (25 minutes later)
Thanks for the detailed answer. Can you please suggest a good water based vaginal jelly which should not have any side effects? Can these jellies be used along with condoms?
doctor
Answered by Dr. Nishikant Shrotri (2 hours later)
Brief Answer:
KY Lubricant Jelly, VGL, Vaginal Jelley

Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX

KY Lubricant Jelly, VGL, Vaginal Jelly are few which are available in XXXXXXX market with the chemists. Even if you request the chemist for Vaginal Lubricant Jelly, you will get available one. In fact, many a condoms come with vaginal jelly pouch for single use.

Yes, these vaginal jellies can very safely be used with condom.

If you are using condom, please attempt insertion under vision. If it touches urinary opening, it will cause inflammation followed by urinary infection.

Please feel free to ask any more advice, XXXXXXX

Dr. Nishikant Shrotri
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Raju A.T
doctor
Answered by
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Dr. Nishikant Shrotri

OBGYN

Practicing since :1968

Answered : 2916 Questions

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What Causes Painful Intercourse?

Brief Answer: Body play with use of fingers and lubricants Detailed Answer: Dear XXXXXXX I do empathize your situation. Many a girls are quite apprehensive during their first few sexual intercourses. They fear that they will have extreme pain when something is trying to entre inside the vagina. They are not aware of the extreme distensibility of vagina which during delivery can accommodate about 3.5 inches or more wide head of the baby. Such girls need explanation and scientific information. A good Sexuality Counsellor would be very helpful to you in such condition. I would like to give you certain instruction to be followed during sexual intercourse: 1. Touching woman's private organs dry is very uncomfortable and many a times painful Hence, avoid handling her private parts dry. Use some lubricant like vaginal jelly on your hands before touching her private parts. 2. Spend a good time in body play like handling the breasts, buttocks, lips, etc. before attempting actual penile entry. Please try to understand, everyday erotic points on woman's body go on shifting to different areas. After body play, when she is sexually aroused, she will herself demand penis in her vagina. Try penile entry only after that. In initial many attempts, complete penile entry is not possible. Does not matter even if only head of your penis entres vagina. I know many patients in whom the penile shaft entry was possible only after first delivery. For penile entry also, use good lubricant. Please do not use any oil based lubricant as they are harmful to the reproctory organs of woman. Use only water based lubricants. Vaginal jellies are very good for the purpose. During insertion, ask her to hold her thighs completely flexed and abducted. In fact the pain she feels more pain due to the constriction of vaginal sphincters. Trying to insert penis through contracted vaginal muscles is extremely painful. Make her breathe deep with mouth fully open while you are trying to insert the penis (or even finger). This will not let her constrict her vaginal sphincters and pain will be substantially less.. 3. It is a good practice to use finger to enter into the vagina before putting in penis. It will give her some confidence and you will be able to dilate the hymen opening with your finger. Insert it only when she has started having copious discharge. Women unlike men have discharge at the beginning of sexual excitement. 4. You may refer to a book 'Kamsutra' by Vatsyayan. It is available in many languages in the world. It mentions many intricacies of sexual relations and play. You will definitely get a Kannad copy in Bengaluru. Considering her physique, she seems to be very weak. Please give her good high protein diet with sufficient carbohydrates to build her health also. If she is getting her menstruation regularly, her hymen is perforated. Does not seem to be a case of imperforate hymen. However, if these simple techniques do not help, you may get her examined from a Gynaecologist. For any more, discussion, advice and assistance, I am always available for you, XXXXXXX Meanwhile you may post a good review with 5 stars rating for me. Dr. Nishikant Shrotri