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What causes erection problem during vaginal intercourse?

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Posted on Mon, 18 May 2015
Question: Hi doctor we have been married since 2 weeks but still unable to achieve proper intercourse. During oral sex my penis is fully erect but while inserting in vagina it looses its toughness and unable to complete the intercourse. My wife gets afraid while having intercourse and that makes me nervous. Can you please advise how to overcome the problem.
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Answered by Dr. Chintan Solanki (1 hour later)
Brief Answer:
Need to reduce anxiety, no serious problem

Detailed Answer:
Hello XXXXX,

Thanks for writing to us. Congratulations for marriage.

I can understand your concern. Many newly married couples face problems in sex life initially. It will take 1-2 months until it goes smoothly.

In most of such cases reason is anxiety related to sex.
In males performance anxiety is the commonest cause while in female inability to relax and be ready for sex with fear of pain.

In your case problem is likely fear of your wife which makes you nervous and causes loss of erection.
For constant erection to be present durinf sec continuous exciting and romantic feeligs should be therein both partners' mind. If mind diverted to something else erection likely to loose.Same is happening in your case.

Counseling of your wife is an important aaspect. She should be relax while having sex. Explain her that if hyment is intact and she has fear of pain, hymen is likely going to be broken completely in 2-3 intercourse. After that she will not have sich pain. And if at all pain is there is will be enjoyable.
She can take over the counter pain killer like brufen or diclo before 2 hours of sex to tolerate this pain.
Another option is to insert little finger of hand of yours or herself in to vagina after washing hands. Then middle finger and then double fingers gradually. This will help her to judge severity of pain and make her ready to welcome penis easily while sex.
If at all she cannot be convinced detail personal couple sex counseling by a psychiatrist/ qualified sexologist will help.
You should also not to worry about erection. Just enjoy foreplay. You can succeed.

Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to help further.

Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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Answered by
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Dr. Chintan Solanki

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2007

Answered : 2406 Questions

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What causes erection problem during vaginal intercourse?

Brief Answer: Need to reduce anxiety, no serious problem Detailed Answer: Hello XXXXX, Thanks for writing to us. Congratulations for marriage. I can understand your concern. Many newly married couples face problems in sex life initially. It will take 1-2 months until it goes smoothly. In most of such cases reason is anxiety related to sex. In males performance anxiety is the commonest cause while in female inability to relax and be ready for sex with fear of pain. In your case problem is likely fear of your wife which makes you nervous and causes loss of erection. For constant erection to be present durinf sec continuous exciting and romantic feeligs should be therein both partners' mind. If mind diverted to something else erection likely to loose.Same is happening in your case. Counseling of your wife is an important aaspect. She should be relax while having sex. Explain her that if hyment is intact and she has fear of pain, hymen is likely going to be broken completely in 2-3 intercourse. After that she will not have sich pain. And if at all pain is there is will be enjoyable. She can take over the counter pain killer like brufen or diclo before 2 hours of sex to tolerate this pain. Another option is to insert little finger of hand of yours or herself in to vagina after washing hands. Then middle finger and then double fingers gradually. This will help her to judge severity of pain and make her ready to welcome penis easily while sex. If at all she cannot be convinced detail personal couple sex counseling by a psychiatrist/ qualified sexologist will help. You should also not to worry about erection. Just enjoy foreplay. You can succeed. Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to help further. Regards, Dr.Chintan Solanki.