Question: Hello, My names XXXXXX I am a 26 yro white female with Vitiligo, Thyroiditis, (hypo mostly) One previous episode of what was called optic neuritis, then later stated possible MS then doc recently said he doesnt think its MS cause there is nothing showing on MRI, I have dermititis herpetiformis, and just generally failing rapidly in all health areas, i have vision loss with no signs of head ache or migraine and then days later massive migraine that lasts weeks or until i get to ER and then after i leave, I have stomach pains, late, missed non existent periods, extreme pain with menstration, i get pneumonia and strep throat all the time, ive had MRSA or staff multiple times in the last few years despite being insanely clean individual and germaphob. I constantly have swollen lymph nodes my body is always attacking itself etc. Ok heres my dilema... I get sick so often doctors have to try and not give me antibiotics because i am probably immune to them at this time.
I have many health issues auto immune diseases that are over taking me more and more lately, a few things that are happening as of current that are new symptoms to me and are bothersome, but i go back to the doctor and neurologist all the time and on top of the fact that i am in horrifying pain and they basically refuse to give me any pain medication, literally whatsoever, gabapentin or otherwise known as neuronton (mispell?) i have absolutely no relief and i think it is making me go insane, throwing up, crying, becoming angry and impatient, punching things etc, to try and find relief. My new symptoms are leg pain, extreme pain all over in both my calves, it starts numb and tingly then works up to hurting then to sheer agonizing pain that i have to try and rub away then it wont go away it stays for hours then it turns into what feels like pins and needles and is physically extrmely hot to the touch it actually feels like my legs are on fire, i touch them with my hands and they are sweaty and feel like they have a fever. Then this other symptom in my leg is that on both my left and right at the corner of the inside of my knees and maybe just an inch or two above closer to my thigh, i get a heavy pulsating feeling like a heart beat only it also feels twitchy like muscle spasms, this is now happening regularly and is quite uncomfortable and then it seems to lead up to the pain in my legs or at least major pain someone else in my body, if this leg pulse starts then i know soon i will be in lots of pain. Also i have been on the gabapentin for over a month and i thought it was helping somewhat starting about a week ago, i went almost six days without a migraine until yesterday and now suddenly today i have chest pain, migraine, vision problems, cloudy thoughts, brain feels fried, i have a choking feeling in my throat which i sometimes get from i believe my thyroid and i take levothyroxine for that , only i usually only get that choking feeling for a few minutes and its usually associated with the heart flutters in my chest and kneck, but this choking feeling has lasted all day with my chest feeling tight, but i am not having an anxiety attack that i am aware of i am calm except for the fact that i am literally at my wits end with this pain and feeling psychotic from just not having any relief. I need to know why no one can figure me out, why is there always something new, why am i rapidly getting worse and worse, when i stay physically active, i eat extremely healthy i take very few medications, and i try and stay happy but my body is doing horrible things...What is going on can you help me please? On top of all of this i work in law enforcement so on a daily basis i pretend nothing is wrong and i feel fine, but i really dont, my bones hurt at times, my muscle hurt at times and my brain hurts or it feels like it hurts and it feels like its dying.

Thank you for taking the time to read through some of my issues...of course I was not able to share them all there are so many. My biggest question for you is about the depression and anxiety you mentioned and about seeing a neuropsychiatrist however you spell that. Why has none of my doctors or neurologist ever mentioned something like that and why am I happy and living or at least trying to live a normal high functioning successful life minus all the pain and frustration that I deal with if I might have depression. It seems you feel I clearly have depression so what exactly does that mean, what does that entail? I feel like I am normal all the time except when I have the pain and issues, which I guess at the moment it really is all the time, but I try to make light of it make jokes and keep on trucking. I don't have much sadness, however i do have lots of mood swings and a lot of anger when I feel pain...its difficult because I feel like there is nothing to do and no way to feel better. I have been to the ER three times in the last month because the pain would not stop and it got so bad that I started shaking and throwing up my legs went numb and I couldn't walk very well and my speech was so slurred the ER doc thought I was having or had a stroke but then they said after four doses of diloted and some morphine that I started to come to and speak more clearly etc. Then the doc said I needed to get my neurologist to look at other medications because mine were not working. The thing is I never know when its going to get weird like that. Some days...however few there may be, I feel totally normal minus maybe a slight head pain or eye pain and maybe some joint pain but that is completely tolerable and I'm ok with that, but then other days I will be working and all of a sudden it feels like my eyes are going to bleed or explode with pressure then my body gets weak and shaky and I feel massive pain in my head and immediately it makes me want to slam my head into something to make it stop. But even through that I keep working and doing regular things like running and taking my dogs out, working out in the gym and writing my reports etc. At one point in time a different neurologist i had put me on lorazapam which I believe is the same as ativan?... he said that it was because I was so frustrated with my health that I was having major anxiety but he didn't say anything about depression. The sad thing for me was the lorazapam did absolutely nothing in fact I stopped trying to take it when my chest was hurting and I was kinda in a stress panic because it didn't change anything and I took the highest amount he said to if it got bad. I still have almost a full bottle because it did nothing...I ended up laying in bed crying holding my head in pain and trying to relax so my chest would not be so tight. I did what I was told and still no relief. I just feel like even if they are going to try all these different medications on me they should at least give me something that I can take for short term pain relief in the meantime but no one will help me. My neurologist said just up the dose of gabapentin and wait until the next time I see him, so meanwhile I sit going literally insane that my brain cannot grt any relief. I'm sorry for so much blabbing it is a difficult situation and because I appear to be a normal healthy young lady it feels like they dont see or understand how bad it hurts. Again I am curious about the depression thing and how that may work when I do not feel sad or down I just feel like maybe it is situational depression just because of the stress of this. Also I want you to know I don't like taking meds I prefer to be as med free as possible as of current the only thing I am on is 100mg levothyroxine....it might not be mg, I'm not sure the measurement on that drug, then I am on 80mg prednisone a day which I believe to be too much but neurologist said keep taking it, and then I am on 1800mg gabapentin a day. That is all the drugs that I take so you have a better idea of what I'm on. Thank you for your time I don't even know if this has been an organized email but I hope you can follow and maybe explain a bit more about a few topics. Thank you.