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Unable to tell the truth in a relationship, adjustment problems, don't want to hurt partner. Treatment ?

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Practicing since : 2004
Answered : 1852 Questions
Hi, my girlfriend think I have a problem with lying can you please help me find out if it's real. I didn't tell her that I talked with a person she doesn't like to no hurt her. And also sometimes I don't tell her what I am doing even if its not wrong just to not make her upset.
Posted Thu, 26 Apr 2012 in Mental Health
Answered by Dr. Ashish Mittal 11 hours later

Thanks for your query.

I appreciate your efforts for medical consultation in so much distress.

Important aspects of your query are:
•     22 year old male.
•     Problem related to adjustment with girl friend.

First and most important thing in your case is that you hiding truth from your girlfriend some point of the time to keep her happy. But for most of the time to hide truth we have to tell lie. So your girl friend may be true also.

Following measures will help you in relationship:

•     Tell her truth and give reason for your unacceptable behaviour for her. It may be hurtful initially but most of the girls appreciate it long term.

•     Always listen to her so that she will become comfortable after ventilating her feelings and worries to you.

•     Sit with her and discuss with her all the problem and about the possible solutions and choose the best possible solution.

•     You may also take help of a common friend in resolving conflict.

•     Do things which she likes and spend time with her whenever she is very much distressed.

•     If these measures does not help then you may take help of nearby psychologist.

I hope this information has been both informative and helpful for you. In case of any doubt, I will be available for follow ups.

Wish you good health.

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