Hello and welcome to Healthcare Magic. Thanks for your query.

Having sexual feelings and desires is fairly common in men of your age group, especially in unmarried men. However, it is important not to let them go beyond your control and end up spoiling your ability to function normally. If these sexual thoughts and behaviours become excessive and addictive, then it can affect your not only affect your concentration in studies, social life, etc. but it can also result in excessive guilt and anxiety, and therefore affect your psychological well being. So, I would give you the following suggestions to overcome your problem:

- Firstly, try to keep your mind active and occupied at all times. When the mind is idle, it will tend to wander away to sexual thoughts. So, keep a busy schedule so that you don't let your mind have any idle time. You can find a new hobby or learn something new (like a new sport or a musical instrument) or you can take up a new assignment at work.

- Regular physical exercise is very important. You can join a gym or have your own exercise schedule. This will not only keep your body healthy but serve as a good outlet to let out to vent out your energy.

- Make specific plans and goals for your future. You have to make short-term and long-term goals for your life and start working to achieve them. This will keep your mind foccussed and prevent your thoughts from getting scattered.

- Improve your social life. XXXXXXX friends and relatives, go for outings or group activities and keep yourself busy. If you keep staying alone in your room, you are more prone to have unecessary, negative and depressing thoughts.

- You can try yoga and meditation. This can help you develop a discipline of your mind and body and help you get a mastery over your thoughts and behaviours.

- Remove anything which triggers your sexual thoughts / mood. For example, clear your room of all pornographic material; if you access internet pornography, you can disconnect your internet connection, etc.

- Stop thinking and feeling guilty about this all the time. The more you think about it, the more difficult it becomes to resist. So, get rid of the guilt in your mind and keep your mind relaxed.

In addition to these suggestions, I would also advise you to have a personal consultation with a sexologist / psychiatrist for personal counselling to help you deal with your problem and improve your confidence levels. There are effective psychological therapies like cognitive behaviour therapy, aversion therapy, hypnotherapy, etc. which can help you get control over any unwanted behaviours or habits. In case you are found to have significant depressive symptoms, then, anti-depressant medication may also be helpful in controlling your low mood and improving your confidence and motivation.

Wish you all the best.

Regards,
Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar
Consultant Psychiatrist & Sexologist

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