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Suggest ways to give up masturbation

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Posted on Sat, 21 May 2016
Question: Hi Doctor

I am 23 years old male and single. I have very good job in one of big MNC.

I use to see porn and use to rub my pennis on bed. This I use to do regularly before going to sleep and after waking up sleep in the morning. Without doing this I can't sleep(even if I feel sleepy, I can't sleep..somewhere in my subconscious mind it says missing porn and masturbation.
Can you please suggest how to get rid of this habit?

I feel I am wasting lot of time due to this bad habit. Usually I don't like to wast time. Sometimes I feel to have sex with prostitute but I have habit of reading inspirational quotes, self improvement and philosophy books, due to this positive reading habit I control myself from those negative thoughts.

Basically I am topper from schooling to college days, even in my team in job I am key player. People use to say that I am great philosopher and has lot of values.

I feel culprit that I am cheating myself due to a fine negative thought and habit( this might be small point but it may leads to a big problem in my life). I feel I need a counselling from expert/psychologist/sexologist.
Can you please help me to get rid of this?

Thanks a lot
doctor
Answered by Dr. Ashok Kumar (1 hour later)
Brief Answer:
There is evidence of masturbation obsession

Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXX,
Thanks for using healthcaremagic.

I read your query and understand your concerns.

I will start with masturbation. First of all you need to understand that masturbation s completely harmless on majority of occasions except pathological states. I am not aware of your age but for a young person (<30) 7+-2 numbers of masturbation per week is completely justifiable.


Having said this from your description it appears that you have obsessive pattern of thinking about masturbation and that needs intervention. Since you do it out of compulsion rather than pleasure it becomes important to take corrective measures.

This can be done in following way.
1. Firstly correct your misconception that masturbation is harmful or leads to problems in future life.

2. Than engage yourself in some other activities which gives pleasure to you. It appears to me that you are very ambitious and hardly take any time for yourself. The issue of excellence in life is well understood but it should be at the cost of your own health. Hope you are taking care of physical health but mental health is equally important and devote sometime for pleasure.

3. Thirdly try to stay with some family member if possible. This will not lead to isolation which is probably the precursor of daily masturbation.

4. Finally if the above simple measures are not helping you, see a psychiatrist/psychologist in person so detailed evaluation can be completed and remedial measures can be taken.

I must assure you that the condition is treatable and respond to both lifestyle adjustment as well as medications.

I hope this helps you.
Thanks and regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Ashok Kumar (4 hours later)
Hi Doctor,

Thanks a ton for understanding my issue and describing nicely on ruling out in corrective measures.

Yes, I do realise that masturbation is completely harmless as long as it is in limit and to engage more on other activities.

Now my age is 23, my problem is that it takes around 4 to 5 years to get marriage because I need to settle well in my life, till then I can't have sex.

Honestly speaking, yes I do have more thirsty on sexual desire.

I do not know how should I ask this question to you that..
"is it ok that I can have sex with someone like brothel to fulfill my sexual pleasurable desire?"

There's a saying that "money is like a salt water..the more you drink.. the more you feel thirsty". Similar saying applies to sex also.

Once I have first time sex physically, I will try to strongly control myself to not let do next time.

Again I am saying that I do not like to get marry till next 4 more years.

could you please understand my issue and suggest?


Thank you

doctor
Answered by Dr. Ashok Kumar (23 minutes later)
Brief Answer:
Always use protection

Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXX,
Thanks for reverting back to me.

If you ask me morally or socially I will definitely not advice the way you wanted to do but if I answer taking consideration of body needs, yes you can go to brothel if you feel so provided you take care of your health. As you know brothels have high prevalence of sexually transmitted infections it is important to not to touch the body fluids with bare mucosa. The use of condom is always advisable no matter you engage in penetrative sex or oral sex.

I must put a word of caution that even with highest care of health and use of protective measures, some risk of infection transmission always remains there.

Although this is not medical answer I feel for a four year long duration developing a stable relationship is better idea than visiting brothels. I understand that not everybody is girlfriend/boyfriend material but with some efforts it is possible to develop some relationship which can be quite useful in short term as well as long run.


Hope I am able to answer your concerns.
If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you.
If not, you may close the discussion and if possible you may rate the answer for my future patients.
In future if you wish to contact me directly, you can use the below mentioned link:
http://doctor.healthcaremagic.com/doctors/dr-ashok-kumar/67386
Thanks and regards.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
doctor
Answered by
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Dr. Ashok Kumar

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2000

Answered : 3287 Questions

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Suggest ways to give up masturbation

Brief Answer: There is evidence of masturbation obsession Detailed Answer: Dear XXXX, Thanks for using healthcaremagic. I read your query and understand your concerns. I will start with masturbation. First of all you need to understand that masturbation s completely harmless on majority of occasions except pathological states. I am not aware of your age but for a young person (<30) 7+-2 numbers of masturbation per week is completely justifiable. Having said this from your description it appears that you have obsessive pattern of thinking about masturbation and that needs intervention. Since you do it out of compulsion rather than pleasure it becomes important to take corrective measures. This can be done in following way. 1. Firstly correct your misconception that masturbation is harmful or leads to problems in future life. 2. Than engage yourself in some other activities which gives pleasure to you. It appears to me that you are very ambitious and hardly take any time for yourself. The issue of excellence in life is well understood but it should be at the cost of your own health. Hope you are taking care of physical health but mental health is equally important and devote sometime for pleasure. 3. Thirdly try to stay with some family member if possible. This will not lead to isolation which is probably the precursor of daily masturbation. 4. Finally if the above simple measures are not helping you, see a psychiatrist/psychologist in person so detailed evaluation can be completed and remedial measures can be taken. I must assure you that the condition is treatable and respond to both lifestyle adjustment as well as medications. I hope this helps you. Thanks and regards.