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Suggest ways to deal with a broken relationship

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Posted on Tue, 26 Jul 2016
Question: Hi Dr XXXXXXX xxxxxxx.Hope you are doing well.
Me and my guy. Actually when I met him I even never knew that I will ever love him. He became my friend and than we intimately came close. And it became strong. It's almost 6 six year of a relationship. The things which bother me sometime of marriage I mean he is always afraid to talk about marriage. I don't maybe it's because he has very orthodox family and inter caste marriage are not allowed. He clearly says I love you but we don't have a future and I expect the same thing from you. Earlier these things bother me. Like I was always worried that what about our future. It's almost 6 years it constantly make me worry that we are intimately close we love each other we are so possessive we have sex and we care like husband wife. He is amazing. But I'm afraid. That if gonna talk to him about the future or wedding he ll get annoyed. Because this thing is not acceptable to him or I'm going according to him. This is an issue. I mean last we had a fight. I cannot tell you the whole thing. But yeah he became extremely furious. And said. I think you are taking sex too seriously. We should not be having sex or I think I should separate I do not want any hard feelings. Cause girls these days torchure boys. So I don't any problems for my future of my family. After hearing word separate! I cried like I cannot mention my feelings. And that to save that. I started saying his word (pls even I do not think of future. As you already told me that we won't have and do not worry I will never trouble you. Or something pls do not spoil. And more I said that night I won't be able to describe the whole) after seeing this you might think he is a bad Guy. But trust me. I see this when he is extremely angry. But I ve seen his love too. But I want commitment and a future together marriage I expect this from him. I don't have to discuss this with him. Because I'm too weak in front of him. I don't want to lose him. If it's the thing of parent I think we can convince them. He never talk to about it. I hope you can get my point. Pls suggest.
doctor
Answered by Dr. Suresh Heijebu (3 hours later)
Brief Answer:
It's time to decide to stay together or not.

Detailed Answer:
Hello, Madam.

I can certainly understand your concern.

I have worked through your query in great detail.

Since you are deeply passionate about him and want to make him as your life partner through marriage, its pretty important that, you two get married soon.

There is no point to be in a blind relationship, where there is no specific target.

Since, he loves you with a passion, its important that he converts this relationship into a meaningful one.

If his intentions are very clear with regards to his family members and girls and if he tend to behave in an aggressive mode every time when you bring the topic of marriage ,its high time that you move on.

So before you people speak to your respective family members about your idea of marrying, be clear wit each other.Both of you should think equally about taking the relationship further.

Hence to conclude, if your boyfriend is willing to marry you with same intensity as yours , then explain this to your respective elders and convince them. to your marriage.If not, its better to bid good bye to this relationship and move ahead in your life.

Post your further queries if any.
Thank you.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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Answered by
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Dr. Suresh Heijebu

General & Family Physician

Practicing since :2010

Answered : 3659 Questions

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Suggest ways to deal with a broken relationship

Brief Answer: It's time to decide to stay together or not. Detailed Answer: Hello, Madam. I can certainly understand your concern. I have worked through your query in great detail. Since you are deeply passionate about him and want to make him as your life partner through marriage, its pretty important that, you two get married soon. There is no point to be in a blind relationship, where there is no specific target. Since, he loves you with a passion, its important that he converts this relationship into a meaningful one. If his intentions are very clear with regards to his family members and girls and if he tend to behave in an aggressive mode every time when you bring the topic of marriage ,its high time that you move on. So before you people speak to your respective family members about your idea of marrying, be clear wit each other.Both of you should think equally about taking the relationship further. Hence to conclude, if your boyfriend is willing to marry you with same intensity as yours , then explain this to your respective elders and convince them. to your marriage.If not, its better to bid good bye to this relationship and move ahead in your life. Post your further queries if any. Thank you.