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Suggest treatment for less interest in sexual life

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Posted on Wed, 27 May 2015
Question: Hi Doctor,



We are a couple (F 32 and M 32) married for nearly 5 years and I am finding it very difficult to generate interest in our sexual life. I, the husband, started felling disinterest from about 3 years ago and this is kind of beginning to make my wife loose interest as well. Some of the factors that lead to my disinterest are as follows :-

1. My wife had conceived within six months of marriage and he had jointly decided to not go ahead with planning a family at that stage as we both felt we were not ready for the responsibility. This lead to some apprehensions in both our minds when we subsequently tried to make love after that.

2. We quarrel very frequently due to issues in our family. We often also find ourselves fighting over issues that probably do not even matter to both of us.

3. We do have a communication problem. I feel even after 5 years of marriage we do not communicate as well as we should. Also considering that we both were school mates, know each other since the age of 10 and have a love marriage, I feel this is our biggest issue and root cause of all problems.

All these issues are obviously causing us both a lot of stress and thoughts of separation are crossing our minds. We both still feel committed and do not want our relationship to break. Please help us in regaining our sexual interests.
doctor
Answered by Dr. Srikanth Reddy (24 minutes later)
Brief Answer:
Relationship problems

Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for choosing health care magic for posting your query.
I have gone through your question in detail and I can understand what you are going through.
Sexual problems that you have mentioned, that of disinterest is basically stemming from the relationship problems that you arehaving. Sex is a body-mind function and it doesnt help much if the state of mind is not proper. Frequent altercation that your wife and you are having has led to a lot of passive agression subconsciously and this has led to the loss of desire.
Improving the relationship between you and your wife is very important for a good sexual life. For this you may have to visit a marriage counsellor together with your wife. This will involve 6-8 weekly sessions with homeworks to improve communication between your wife and you and reduce the distress. Further the counsellor will also assess the presence of depression in you, which is again a leading cause of loss of sexual desire. If there is depression then that needs to be corrected. Further there are ceratin medicines which increase the desire to have sex like pramipexol for these should be done ones the psychological issues have been sorted out.
I would request you to seek an appointment for a face to face marriage counselling and ones the relationship improves the sexual issues should settle down. If still not then pramipexol may help you with your probelm.
Hope I am able to answer your concerns.
If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you.
If not, you may close the discussion and if possible you may rate the answer for me, so that I get a good feedback.
In future if you wish to contact me directly, you can use the below mentioned link:
bit.ly/dr-srikanth-reddy
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
Wish you good health,
Kind regards
Dr. Srikanth Reddy M.D.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Prasad
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Srikanth Reddy (2 days later)
Hi Doctor,

Thanks for your time in understanding my issue and providing a detailed response.
If you think that the reason for our problems is solely due to the frequent altercations between us, I must tell you that off late, probably in the past 1 and a half years we have both started avoiding issues and do not get into altercations as frequently as we used to. But when we do its still about the issues of the past and probably just as bitter. Even then the situation has not improved and I do not feel like making love.
I am confused as to why reduced frequency of quarrels is not helping in any way.
Also, would be better to consult a sexologist or a marriage counselor at this stage?
Lastly, would you be able to suggest a good counselor in South West Delhi?
doctor
Answered by Dr. Srikanth Reddy (7 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Counsellor

Detailed Answer:
Hello
The previous altercation that you have had with your partner has led to a lot of bitterness in your relationships and this has led to the sexual probelms.
A marriage counsellor/ clinical psychologist will be a better person to handle this issue. I dont know any specific name but you may visit any corporate hospital in South West XXXXXXX as every corporate hospital may be having a clinical psychologist attached to it.
Kind regards
Dr. Srikanth Reddy

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Shanthi.E
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Answered by
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Dr. Srikanth Reddy

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2007

Answered : 2770 Questions

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Suggest treatment for less interest in sexual life

Brief Answer: Relationship problems Detailed Answer: Hello, Thanks for choosing health care magic for posting your query. I have gone through your question in detail and I can understand what you are going through. Sexual problems that you have mentioned, that of disinterest is basically stemming from the relationship problems that you arehaving. Sex is a body-mind function and it doesnt help much if the state of mind is not proper. Frequent altercation that your wife and you are having has led to a lot of passive agression subconsciously and this has led to the loss of desire. Improving the relationship between you and your wife is very important for a good sexual life. For this you may have to visit a marriage counsellor together with your wife. This will involve 6-8 weekly sessions with homeworks to improve communication between your wife and you and reduce the distress. Further the counsellor will also assess the presence of depression in you, which is again a leading cause of loss of sexual desire. If there is depression then that needs to be corrected. Further there are ceratin medicines which increase the desire to have sex like pramipexol for these should be done ones the psychological issues have been sorted out. I would request you to seek an appointment for a face to face marriage counselling and ones the relationship improves the sexual issues should settle down. If still not then pramipexol may help you with your probelm. Hope I am able to answer your concerns. If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you. If not, you may close the discussion and if possible you may rate the answer for me, so that I get a good feedback. In future if you wish to contact me directly, you can use the below mentioned link: bit.ly/dr-srikanth-reddy Wish you good health, Kind regards Dr. Srikanth Reddy M.D.