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Suggest treatment for lack of interest in sex along with erection problem

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Posted on Mon, 1 Jun 2015
Question: Sir, my husband has problem in erection.At thetime of having sex,he could not erect it properly. He even dont like to have foreplay with me.. He is committed to me only but he is not interested in doing forepaly or having sex. I was under lot of depression and i developed physical relationship with my XXXXXXX officer in work. but ,now i am in love with him and not able o ocncentrate on my husband. But the person with whom i developed relation ,he is interested in sex only ,he do not love me.whenever he feels his wife had a doubt ,he throw me away like anything. After few days when averything got normal ,he again call me and i am also not refusing. Sir,I need your help what should i do,i am not able to share it with anyone .Please help me .
doctor
Answered by Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi (1 hour later)
Brief Answer:
Try to say NO to your collegue

Detailed Answer:
Hello, Welcome to Health Care Magic

I can understand your problem. After reading the history you have mentioned I can point out many issues which require to be resolved.

One main issue is lack of interest in sex in your husband. His poor libido, inability to satisfy your needs, poor erections etc have compelled you to move to someone else to get gratification.

Other issue is repeated episodes of physical relation with a person other than your partner. Such episodes cause unconscious guilt which further deteriorate the symptoms.

One more issue is the problems between you and your collegue. He is repeatedly ditching you and then coming back for his only one need. He is committed fully to his wife but in my opinion playing with your emotions.

So you have to deal with these three main issues, which is appearing difficult but you have to deal with it. Talk to your husband about the problem you are facing. Don't ever try to mention that you are in relation with your collegue but tell him that you are not getting fully satisfied during intercourse. If possible request him to consult a psychiatrist for evaluation and treatment of erectile dysfunction.

Second intervention is to make firm decision. Try to find out what is best for you? If you have any future if we consider your relation with your collegue? Though I can't suggest you still in my opinion stop contacting your collegue. Try to say "NO" to him. Make a firm decision that you will not go with him. He is repeatedly ditching you and this would cause major problems and depression in future.

Once you come out of the mess of office then you will be able to regain your lost confidence. Try to improve your personal life then. It's very easy to treat erectile dysfunction, just you have to make your husband agree to visit a Psychiatrist.

Thanks, Hope this helps you, if you have more doubts you can ask again.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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Follow up: Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi (30 minutes later)
Thank you sir.But one question which is still troubling me is my colligue has helped me a lot in my professional life also. He has helped me in my transfer issu, he used to guide me in difficulties arousing in my professional life also.I have no mentor in my life because my parents are no more and will it be possible for me to completely break up with me? I am having 2 yrs old daugher from my husband , if suppose i completely break up with him,it would not be easier for me to forget him completely.I may throw frustation on my daugher.In fact , when it happens that he pushed me away from him i became frustated and not even able to concentrate on my daugher also.
doctor
Answered by Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi (2 hours later)
Brief Answer:
You should keep distance from him in terms of sex

Detailed Answer:
Hello again and thanks for asking a follow up

Even if he has helped you a lot in professional front still this cant continue for long. With time your personal life would be affected because of all this. Any female in such situation can concentrate fully on her family and this cause significant impact on personal front of life. I am not saying that you stop interacting with him. Wait for the time when your colleague gets angry on you because of his wife and all, then at that time make him clear that you will have intercourse with him in future. Remain firm on your decision and even if he calls you again and again even then dont go with him. Try to keep a balance, you can talk with him, can work with him but dont continue physical relationship because this will ultimately affect you.

You may become frustrated after this but try to spend that bad time with your husband. Marital life is not just sex but its more than that.

This is my personal opinion, please think about this. You can ask again if you need more clarifications or advise.

Thanks, Take care
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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Answered by
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Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2007

Answered : 5188 Questions

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Suggest treatment for lack of interest in sex along with erection problem

Brief Answer: Try to say NO to your collegue Detailed Answer: Hello, Welcome to Health Care Magic I can understand your problem. After reading the history you have mentioned I can point out many issues which require to be resolved. One main issue is lack of interest in sex in your husband. His poor libido, inability to satisfy your needs, poor erections etc have compelled you to move to someone else to get gratification. Other issue is repeated episodes of physical relation with a person other than your partner. Such episodes cause unconscious guilt which further deteriorate the symptoms. One more issue is the problems between you and your collegue. He is repeatedly ditching you and then coming back for his only one need. He is committed fully to his wife but in my opinion playing with your emotions. So you have to deal with these three main issues, which is appearing difficult but you have to deal with it. Talk to your husband about the problem you are facing. Don't ever try to mention that you are in relation with your collegue but tell him that you are not getting fully satisfied during intercourse. If possible request him to consult a psychiatrist for evaluation and treatment of erectile dysfunction. Second intervention is to make firm decision. Try to find out what is best for you? If you have any future if we consider your relation with your collegue? Though I can't suggest you still in my opinion stop contacting your collegue. Try to say "NO" to him. Make a firm decision that you will not go with him. He is repeatedly ditching you and this would cause major problems and depression in future. Once you come out of the mess of office then you will be able to regain your lost confidence. Try to improve your personal life then. It's very easy to treat erectile dysfunction, just you have to make your husband agree to visit a Psychiatrist. Thanks, Hope this helps you, if you have more doubts you can ask again.