Question: My year of birth is 1982. I never had sex in my life. I am married since the 8th of December 2015. Since then I was not able to have sex with my wife. My problem is that I am not getting erections hard enough to have sexual intercourse. Even if it gets hard, which is not very common to me, the hardness is only for a short amount of time, roughly about one or two minutes and after that it is again becoming soft. We are barely into foreplay and I notice my penis becoming soft. Due to this I was not able to have sex with my wife even once. I was recommended by skin specialists to have circumcision operation because they said that I have phimosis and also because of an infection of the foreskin in which the foreskin is turning white in colour with small cuts and blood. So, three weeks back, I had circumcision operation. After ejaculation (through masturbation) it is becoming almost impossible for me to get an erection for a few days. Even if I somehow get erection it is lasting only for a brief period of time (for a few minutes) or is remaining a partial erection. In my younger days (during teenage and in my early and mid-twenties) my erections used to be spontaneous and very hard and used to stay for long time. But I noticed decrease in the spontaneous quality, hardness and the length of the time of my erections beginning from my late twenties. Presently, after marriage, at almost 35 years of age, I reached a stage where I rarely get erections, and even if I get they are either not hard enough or even if they are hard enough, they are not staying for more than a couple of minutes. I used to masturbate a lot before marriage and ejaculate very quickly. I also used to watch lot of porn and masturbate before marriage (almost daily). After marriage also I am watching porn secretly without the knowledge of my wife, but very less frequently (like once in a week). My wife doesn't know that I watch porn. I even observed a difference in hardness of my erections in the course of time whenever I watch porn. Some years back whenever I watched porn I used to get hard erections. But now, even when watching porn also I am not getting hard erections but only partial erections. I am having sexual desire but my penis is not cooperating. I am losing my confidence. Can I ever have sex in my life? What happened to me? What is wrong with me? Once I went to doctor and he performed injection test on my penis. Even after injection test my penis did not become very hard. It was, may be 70 percent hard. I am able to tell this because I remember having much harder erections in my life than I had with the injection test. My HBA1C result is 6.4 (four months back report) and my Random Blood Sugar 110 mg/dl (one month back report). I am also facing some situations in my life which are causing lot of mental stress to me. Even now I have very hard erections (rarely only) but they last for a very brief time. Getting hard erections is becoming very difficult for me and the rare occasions on which I do get such hard erections, I am not able to maintain them long enough. It just gets soft barely in a couple of minutes into foreplay. My main cause of worry is not that I am not able to have sexual pleasure but I am mainly worried that if the news goes out that I am not capable of having sex it would be a great insult to me. I am really worried how my wife would react if this condition of me persists. So far she has not shown any hatred/dislike/frustration towards me because of this and she is of the hope that my condition will become better with medical treatment. This condition of me is severely disturbing all the important areas of my life. Please help me.

Hi, I have provided some attachments. Please review them.

1. How long the problem is there ? I understand it is for years but I like to when you first noticed the problem?
Approximately since 5 to 6 years


2. How the problem started ? What could be the factor according to you for onset of problem?
I can't say how the problem started. I thought that the problem started because of physical weakness in my body.

3. Frequency of the problem in last one year ? What number of sexual intercourse/masturbation failed in last one month/year?
It has been one year since my marriage. We attempted sex for not more than 10 times altogether, in the first 3 months of marriage but I failed every time. After that we never attempted sex but only had foreplay. Even while masturbating also (which I usually do by lying on the bed) I noticed that many times the erection did not last but subside quickly. After March we did not attempt for sex. In March we went to an XXXXXXX in XXXXXXX Dr. XXXXXXX XXXXXXX He examined me and tested me. He told that I have phimosis, penile curvature and penile torsion, and varicocele. He said that I require multiple surgeries which would cost approximately 3 to 4 lakhs rupees. We did not have that much money. So we decided not to get operated. But we thought that we will attemt sexual intercourse after I undergo circumcision operation because I was feeling lot of pain moving my foreskin back and forth because it was very tight. At last I had circumcision operation on November 26. Now we are waiting to recover from my surgery. We are planning to attempt sexual intercourse in another 3 to four weeks after I am fully recovered from my circumcision surgery.

4. Do you had similar problem in past lasting for one or more occasions? I mean before marriage or during your teenage years?
In teenage I never had this kind of problem. In fact upto the age of 28 I did not have this problem. It was very rare that I was not able to have erection when I was really having the desire.

5. What are the factors that increase the problem? Do you think stress could be a factor?
I think stress is a factor for my problem.

6. Factors that relieve the problem- you can describe them in detail if any?
Worry-free, happy mood, I think can relieve my problem to some extent.

7. Do you get early morning erection?
Once upon a time I used to get early morning erections daily. Now I am not getting them daily.

8. If yes how frequent and how intense? Please answer this necessarily.
In the past I used to get very intense early morning erections. But now that intensity is not there. My early morning erections are only half-hard. Now a days, my early morning erections are fully hard only rarely. In the recent past I even observed that on some days I woke up with very less intense or absolutely no erection at all.

9. Details of past medical illnesses, like duration, any complications, treatment received till date.
7th standard - Dehydration (Admitted in Hospital for one week)
8th standard - Food Poisoning (Admitted in Hospital for one month)
9th standard - Jaundice
10th standard - Diagnosed with Low Blood Pressure and Vertigo
From 11th standard onwards to upto the age of almost 20 - occasional loose motions and vomitings.
At the age of 25 - Admitted into hospital for swollen left testicle (Doctors asked whether I had sex, but I did not have sex. I told them that I did not have sex. Was cured and discharged from hospital after 10 days).

10. Do you take any substance of abuse?
I don't take any substance of abuse. I never smoked or drank alcohol in my life. Neither did I take any drugs in my life.

11. Investigations done till date and reports of most latest investigations- serum testosterone, TSH, T3, T4 and any other? You mentioned injection please name the injection if you have records?
I have reports of TSH, T3, and T4 and I have uploaded them for your reference. I think I don't have test results of serum testosterone. I am not sure.
Injection test was performed on my Dr. XXXXXXX XXXXXXX an XXXXXXX in XXXXXXX in March. He said that it was for testing the quality of my erection. I don't have reports of it.

12. Do you have any psychiatric illness?
I don't have any psychiatric illness.

13.Any other problem you like to report
My mother did not agree to my marriage but my father agreed to my marriage. My parents got separated long back and I am living with my father. I have strong guilt in me that I married against the will of my mother. This guilt is affecting me much and on the other side even the responsibility of taking care of finances for my family is keeping me under pressure. These may be affecting the quality of my erections. I am not sure about this.

Dear Sir,
I have answered honestly and to the best of my knowledge. Thanks.
XXXX XXXXXXX

Dear Sir,

Thanks for the reply. I will get back to you as soon as I get the reports for the tests that you have prescribed.

Thanks,
XXXX